This Old Chair

It’s funny how much sentimental value this old, brown suede chair has. Dave and I brought it home from a clearance furniture store nearly 10 years ago, around Thanksgiving. It was our first piece of nursery furniture. I wanted a comfortable chair for midnight nursing sessions and found this bargain for $88. 

It held me while I wept those nights after I was released from the hospital and Leland was still in the NICU. The room was empty because his crib and other furniture had not yet arrived, and I sat in it, exhausted and sobbing and praying, when I got up to pump every 2-3 hours for days until he came home. 

Then Leland came home, and it was our quiet spot while we figured out nursing together. Even when we were home alone, I often came here to nurse because it was comfortable. When Alden came around, it was our quiet refuge from a loud big brother and daddy playing. When Olivia joined us, we attempted to use it as our quiet space, but the boys just followed us. They never wanted to be far from their sister. It has seen roughly 53 months of nursing/pumping. 

Alden

My view while rocking Olivia

I’ve spent countless hours sleeping and rocking in it while comforting sick babies. Sleeping upright to help with their coughs. Rocking them until their fever broke. Sleeping by myself in it to listen to their breathing in case we needed to go to the hospital. Rocking them after bad dreams.

So many nights spent like this.

Sleeping in the rocker with a sick baby

I took all of their monthly photos in this chair, with the same bear for size comparison. Thirty-six months of photos in this chair. 

Olivia

Alden

Leland

Sometimes we just snuggle in it. 

Leland, Alden, Kennedi, and Elli

It’s been a favorite reading spot for all three of my babies. Sometimes they pile on my lap to read. Sometimes one at a time. Sometimes they read by themselves in it. Sometimes they read to each other.

Lately, it’s mostly held Olivia’s giant Minnie Mouse. 

But last night, it had another night of rocking.  During a middle-of-the-night tantrum about wanting to sleep in our bed, Olivia started thrashing around on the floor and ended up hitting her eye on her bed post. It bled a little and she was scared. So we rocked. She laid across my lap, feet hanging off the side because she’s so long now, wrapped up in a blanket, and she slowly drifted to sleep in my arms. I held her for a while because even though I was tired and my bed sounded so nice, there is nothing better than your baby sleeping in your arms. Even when that baby is four years old (inching so close to five 😭) and her whole body doesn’t fit anymore. I held her until she woke up complaining that she was too sweaty and said she was ready for her bed again.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt sentimental about furniture, except our crib. But this chair holds the stories of my babies and I don’t think I considered that for one second when I was buying this $88 bargain. 

Daddy Dates

Over the weekend, Leland got to have a couple of dates with Daddy.

On Saturday, Dave and I each had some errands to run, so we split up. He took Leland and I took Alden. While they were out, Leland asked Dave if they could "go to a hot dog restaurant and eat at the restaurant." Dave was going to take him somewhere for hot dogs, and then Leland changed his mind and wanted "pizza without pepperoni." (He takes after me. No pepperoni, thank you.)

So they went out for pizza (with sausage).

And then on Sunday, they went out for breakfast together. We had a half off coupon for our favorite breakfast buffet, but since I'm doing the 21 Day Fix, I couldn't have what I really wanted. I didn't want to torture myself by seeing all the things I couldn't have, so I opted out.

Leland was excited about the doughnuts.

Alden had plenty of fun letting dinosaurs swim in his cereal. 

Then a few days later, I went to see my former student's baseball game. I knew the boys wouldn't be okay hanging out at the game, so Dave took them to a nearby school playground to play.

He even let them try the big swings, which I haven't let them do yet. Dads are so fun.

I was a little jealous of the lunch and breakfast dates because I rarely get those with just one of the boys. But I reminded myself that I get dates with both of them all the time. We do so many fun things together during the summer and on school breaks. It was Dave's turn to do something fun.

Trying Not to Spoil My Kid

A few days ago, Leland woke up in the morning and stated he needed Baymax with his flying gear. I thought he meant a toy Baymax, but he told me, "No, I want a big one so I can go flying with him."

When I told him that Baymax isn't real and he's just in the movie, Leland insisted that we can buy him from the store and we needed to go look for him. I figured the only way to show him that it's not real, was to take him to the store and show him that there were only toy Baymaxes.

Bad idea.

He found this 11" Baymax that makes sounds and comes with Hiro. For $42.

Sorry, buddy, that's a big fat no. He claimed he could buy it with his own money. Still no. If it were $20, I might consider it, but there is no way any action figure is worth $42.

He has dropped the idea of the big Baymax, thankfully, but now he wants the entire cast, including the bad guy, of smaller action figures. He keeps telling us he wants his "little heroes."

They're all $10 each at Target, and while I am more likely to buy him a $10 toy than a $42 toy, I'm not going to buy him seven $10 toys for no reason.

Man, it's rough having a birthday three days after Christmas. I always feel bad that his gift-getting events are clumped together, but I can't justify spending a bunch of money on him for no reason. Especially when he really does have plenty of toys.

I did find a set of action figures for a reasonable price on Amazon, but struggle with buying him toys for no reason. Sure, we buy him trucks or tractors every so often, but those are pretty inexpensive. I'm having a moral parenting dilemma.

Maybe we should start celebrating his half birthday?

Childcare Changes...Again

About six weeks ago, Leland started preschool. After months of asking to go to preschool, he was so excited to finally be going. The first few days went well - he looked forward to going and seemed to have fun. But after a few weeks, things weren't quite so easy.

So excited for his first day of preschool!

He didn't participate in circle time or really any of the organized activities, he cried about going (not just at drop off), and he had a hard time getting along with his friends. I didn't expect him to fully participate in the structured activities, because of his age and the fact that he's never done it before. But the trouble with friends isn't like him. Twice, Leland has been sent home for biting. Now, I'm not saying Leland is always perfect with his friends - he has bit a few times before - but he generally is very social and a likable kid. He loves making new friends, and whenever he has bit in the past, it was always a reaction to conflict with a friend or being provoked in some way. At preschool, both instances appeared to be unprovoked, which is strange for Leland.

Aside from difficulties at school, Leland was also having a hard time at home. He wasn't napping at school, so he was exhausted at night and just so crabby! I would ask him how his day was and he would tell me, "I don't want to talk about my school." He just seemed so different and not my happy boy anymore.

Leland with his pal Sophie.

I'm not completely sure what was causing Leland to have such a hard time lately, but my theory is that full-time preschool was just too much for him. Again, I'm not saying he was perfect before going to preschool, but he just seemed happier. He doesn't hate preschool, but it has definitely been a difficult transition. I think he's just not quite ready for preschool full timw.

Pulling Leland out of preschool isn't really an option for us for two reasons. One, the daycare where Alden goes doesn't have a full time opening for Leland. And two, we can't afford for them to both go to daycare full time (our new daycare is more expensive than Julie was). 

Leland and Sophie walking in to school together. Are arranged marriages acceptable? Because I think these two are way too adorable together.

So we compromised and came up with a solution that will hopefully help us get through the next few weeks a little easier. Leland is now attending daycare with Alden on Mondays and Fridays. This way, he gets three days in a row of preschool (I don't think an every-other-day schedule would work well for him), and a non-structured day before and after the weekend. This way, he gets two days to just play and chill out if he needs to.

We started this new plan last Friday. Leland loved playing at Dawn's Friday and Monday, and seemed ready to go back to school on Tuesday. He had three good days at school - not perfect, but not bad - and when I have checked on him, he always seems to be having fun. I don't know if he's participating more in classroom activities, but he is willing to actually talk about school now. And he really just seems happier. It's like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

Shaving cream play at school.

We have three weeks left of the school year, and I am beyond ready to have my sweet boys home with me. I know that a few months can make a huge difference in a child, so I'm hoping that Leland will grow up just enough over the summer to be more ready for preschool in the fall. 

One Crazy Week

As you know from my post a few days ago, Leland started preschool this week. The first day went really well. He was excited to go and seemed to have a fun day. Since then, things have been a little rough. Not terrible, but not easy.

Leland seems to have fun at school. When I peek in on him (usually at least twice a day...I can't help it), he is usually giggling and having fun. But in the mornings, he doesn't want to go. We get to his classroom and he starts crying that he wants to leave. It breaks my heart, because although he would sometimes cry when I dropped him off at daycare, it was only right as I was leaving. Now he cries immediately upon walking in. But, like I said, he seems to have fun during the day, and he doesn't want to leave at the end of the day.

The other day, I peeked in on him while he was having snack. He was laughing and being silly with his friend, Sal. Upon looking a little more closely, I noticed that he was eating a doughnut. Apparently, Sal gave Leland one of his doughnuts, which is a bit of a no-no, because they're not supposed to share food (which is a policy in my classroom as well). When one of their teachers talked to them about not sharing food, Leland very innocently said, "But I like doughnuts." Oh, the little cuties.

So, drop offs have been rough, but I like that I can spy on him a few times a day and just see how he's doing.

Alden started his new daycare on Tuesday. We talked to and visited a number of daycares, but none of them seemed like the right fit, or else they didn't have a full time opening. Then my co-worker shared her daycare provider's information. We met with her and it went great so Alden started the next day.

He has been doing well. A few tears when I drop him off, but he calms down quickly. He does the same thing at the church nursery, and just needs some cuddling to feel better. I'm glad that he's adjusting well.

This daycare is a little bit out of the way. Not terrible, but not as close to school as Julie, so my commute has increased by about 10 minutes. That's been a little tough for me. In the mornings, I feel so rushed to get out of the house and to work on time, and in the evenings, I feel anxious to just get home and hug my babies. My days have felt extra long this week (Contrary to most public school teachers who work about 7.5-8 hour days, GTA teachers work 9 hour days. Then add the commute and we're away from home over 10 hours every day.)

Funny thing, I was so nervous about Alden's transition and I had no concerns about Leland. But after this week, I'm the opposite: worried about Leland and confident that Alden is just fine. I'm thankful today is Friday, and I can spend some much needed time with my babies this weekend. My heart needs it and I'm pretty sure theirs do too.

Mr. Independent

Leland is in that super fun toddler stage where he wants to do everything himself. He wants to pour his own cereal and milk, pick out his own clothes and put them on, brush his own teeth, wipe his own bottom (which still needs some practice), and do all the things on his own.

For the most part, I am all for it. Sure, some things are messy or take some extra time and it would just be easier if I could do them myself, but it's definitely important for him to do things on his own. It's a good lesson in patience for me as we go through this stage. And it's also a good lesson for him that, while many things he can do on his own, there are some things that require help and it's okay to ask for it.

Since Leland has been potty trained, he's been wearing a diaper at night, and over the last couple of weeks, he's been getting up during the night to go potty. He is able to get himself up and use the bathroom by himself, but he struggles to get his diaper back on. And, being three, he wants to do it himself without any help, but in his still-half-asleep-state, he can't do it himself and he winds up screaming like a crazy person.

So I decided to give in and buy some Pull-Ups (Target brand) for night time. I debated about whether to try them because of the cost and the fact that they don't hold very much. But I thought it would be better, overall, if he could be independent with his middle-of-the-night trips to the potty.

They have been nice because Leland can get them on and off by himself. I still usually wake up and ask him if he needs any help, but he seems to handle it fine on his own.

He is appreciating his independence, and I am too. As much I want him to stay my baby, I love seeing him grow up and do things on his own. And there are always times when he still might need a little guidance. Like when he puts his Pull-Up on inside out.

Adventures in Potty Training

Note: this is an incredibly wordy post to say that my kid is basically potty trained. If you're not interested in the boring details, read no further. But, as this is my journal of sorts, and I may want to look back on this in the future (when it comes time to potty train Alden), I am sharing lots of boring details about the process.

On Leland's birthday (December 28), we (I) decided we were done with diapers. I told Leland we ran out of diapers, which was a complete and total lie, because Alden wears the same size diapers at night. I hadn't planned ahead. I had just decided when I woke up that morning that it was time. We needed to get this potty training show on the road. Because, if not now, when?

We had been working on potty training for months, but we weren't committed. We made a few half-ass attempts, and tried to be serious about it, but we just weren't. Part of it was that Leland didn't quite seem ready. We would put underwear on him with no pants, and when he had an accident five minutes later, we pretty much gave up. He did great with going pee on the potty, but would also go in his pants and didn't seem to care.

But on his birthday, when I put his underwear on him, I also had him wear pants. Underwear alone was too much like a diaper; it wasn't all that uncomfortable when he peed in them. But with pants on too, he definitely didn't like being wet.

Another reason I felt like he wasn't ready before was because he would have accidents just a few minutes after going on the potty. I had this notion in my head that he shouldn't have accidents. That if he were ready, he wouldn't have any accidents. Well...that was just plain dumb of me. Accidents are a necessary part of potty training. Without having accidents, how will he know he doesn't like being wet? It's a learning process.

It's funny that it took me so long to figure these things out, because I have potty-trained COUNTLESS children in my life as a daycare/preschool teacher. I was known as the potty training guru at one school. However, potty training in a daycare/school setting is much different than at home. The structure is different, the toilets are different (smaller, yet still "real" toilets are awesome), and there are several children working on it at the same time so they learn from each other.

I know many potty training methods suggest setting aside a few days strictly to work on pottying. No leaving the house, no distractions (TV, other children, etc.). I don't ever have that much time to dedicate strictly to potty training, so I made sure we had one whole day at home, and a few low-key days with not much going on so we could work on it.

His birthday was day one.

Planes undies

We put him in underwear first thing in the morning and I set the timer on my phone to go off every 20 minutes. Every 20 minutes, he sat on the potty, and he peed each and every time. I was armed with mini marshmallows as his treats for going - one for staying dry, one for peeing. He asked for a diaper a few times, but I stuck to my story that we were all out. At nap time, I told him we only had sleep diapers (that were actually the same as the regular diapers we have always used...I'm a liar). He wore a diaper for nap and sleeping at night. He had 2 accidents that day.

Day 2, I didn't set the timer once. Instead, I asked him often if he had to go potty. Sometimes I had to carry him to the toilet and tell him it was time, and sometimes he would tell me, "It's potty time." We had a doctor's appointment that day, and he stayed dry in the car ride and at the doctor's office. Again, he had 2 accidents (including a poop...no fun).

Day 3, I tried to remind him less and less. I just tried to let him listen to his body. He, again, made it to a doctor's appointment without an accident. And he also refused to wear a diaper during nap that day. From that day on, he hasn't had any accidents, including naps, except for another poop on day 6. That one was while we were out of the house, and I ended up throwing that pair of underwear away.

Since then, he has been telling us whenever he has to pee. I ask him now and then to make sure he's still thinking about it. Pooping on the potty was a different story. It was not as easy. Several times, he would sit on the potty, trying to poop and I would sit with him, encouraging him and telling him that he could have his special toy when he went. But he never did.

Then one night (day 7), Dave sat in the bathroom with him. Dave explained to him that he needs help with lots of things, like shoveling the driveway, working in his shop, etc. and that he needs a big boy to help him. He needs to know that Leland won't poop his pants during those activities. And in the middle of that conversation Leland.pooped.on.the.toilet! Holy crap! No pun intended.

That's when Leland got his long adored and coveted combine tractor.

He calls him Frank Combine (from Cars)

The next day, I was giving Alden a bath when Leland ran into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and pooped again.

Then he got another special toy that we had been saving for a special occasion.

The tractor on the right was given to us from a student. Leland adores it, but one day Alden chewed on it and some paint scraped off. So the one on the left is his new one - no chipped paint and it still has the steering wheel. Leland was thrilled.

Considering he hasn't had an accident in 6 days, he tells us when he has to go, and will go independently (shuts the door and locks it so he can go by himself), and has now pooped on the potty on his own, I'd say the boy is potty trained (except for wiping)! Wahoo!

Throughout the entire process, I tried as much as possible to let Leland do all of the pulling down/up of his pants himself. He needed to do this - he needed to own it. He wore pajama pants for the first few days, because they're easier to pull up and down, but now he's wearing regular pants.

I cannot believe how easy this process was once we finally committed to it. I think it is definitely because he was ready. Six months ago, he wasn't ready, and this would have a very different story. But now he is, and I'm glad I had that random thought last Sunday to just do it already.

Shaking It Off

Last week, Leland bit a friend at daycare. When I got the text from Julie, my heart sank. I was immediately so sad for the boy he bit and upset that my kid did it. Having worked in daycare and preschool, I know that this happens, but that doesn't make it any easier as the parent.

When we got home, we talked with Leland about it and he really seemed to feel bad for what he did. We took away his favorite tractors for a few days and we had him make a picture for the boy that he bit.

The boy's mom was furious, which I completely understand. It's awful to see another child hurt your child. She wanted Julie to send Leland home, but Julie said she thinks he's a little too young for that. I feel that way too. If Julie asked me to, I would have taken him home, but I don't think that would teach him anything. He's too young to see that as a negative consequence to his actions. Instead, Julie gave him a time out and he missed out on a fun activity because of it. That, coupled with our response at home, seems fair to me.

The other boy's mom was not okay with this. She told Julie that if Leland is allowed to continue coming to daycare, she may have to find a new daycare for her son. This is the second time Leland has bit her son (or anyone...he's only ever bit these two times). The first time was several months ago, but the mom sees Leland as a bully now. Julie told me she really doesn't want to lose either of the boys, but she doesn't feel that she needs to kick Leland out for this incident. It is a normal thing for toddlers to do, and he will grow out of it. Plus, she said that the two boys play together quite well most of the time. And the other boy was sad that Leland was in time out because he wanted to play with him.

Unfortunately, the other mom happens to work with me. And since she doesn't see this the same way Julie or I see it, she has brought it up to several of our co-workers and other daycare parents.

I am beyond furious that she's putting my son's business out there for everyone to judge, because she's not giving them all of the information. Like the fact that the biting was provoked (I'm not making excuses, because it's definitely not okay, but the other boy wasn't innocent). I think it's completely inappropriate for her to talk to other daycare parents and my co-workers about it. It's just not cool. If one of my classroom parents went around talking to and rallying other parents about an incident at school, I would not be okay with it. It's gossipy and I hate gossip. And it's also very one-sided.

Apparently, this mom told Julie that if it happens again, she will pull her son from the daycare immediately. I am hoping it doesn't happen again, because I don't want my child to hurt anyone. But I am kind of hoping she pulls her son. I think she's overreacting and being ridiculous about the whole thing. She's putting Julie in a terrible position and she's acting very childish.

My point in this post is simply to rant a little bit and get my thoughts out so I can move on. I could make a big facebook post, but I don't want to cause drama. She's my friend on facebook (though likely not for long...time to hit that unfriend button, I think) as are our co-workers. But I feel like I need to just put it all out there for my own personal satisfaction.

And now I will do a little dance while listening to some Taylor Swift. "Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. Shake it off, shake it off."

Parenting Ain't for Punks

Wednesday night, I had to do something really difficult. Something that I didn't want to do. Something I really hated to do.

I made Leland skip swimming lessons.

Long story short, Leland is becoming the dreaded threenager. He has had some major attitude lately. I told him in the morning that I can't take a boy to swimming lessons who is being mean. I tried not to say it as a threat, but I wanted him to know that his behavior, if it continued, would have consequences. When I went to pick him up from daycare that day, he pushed Alden and tried to kick him, and I just couldn't reward that behavior with swimming. So I took Alden instead.

Leland was beyond upset. When I told him he wasn't going to swim, but Alden was, he started saying, "No, Alden not go splash park! Alden can't get all wet!" It was so hard for me to not take Leland.

I'm really not big on the whole "If you're good, you can have such-and-such" (in Choice Theory terms: rewarding to control) or bribing my child to be good. It is easy to fall into that trap, but in all the years I have seen teachers and parents do that kind of thing, I have yet to see it work the way they want it to. It's just not effective. But there is a difference between that and consequences. When it comes down to it, I just could not reward Leland's behavior.

So I didn't hold it over his head and say over and over that he had to be good or he would miss swimming. But I made sure he knew what would happen if his behavior continued. And as much as it sucked, I had to follow through.

Leland was upset, but when Alden and I got home, they played well together. And Leland has been nicer to Alden since then as well.

Sometimes parenting is means doing something you desperately don't want to do. It was just one night. It was just swimming lessons. But swim nights are my special time with Leland. I cherish that time with just us - when I can give him undivided attention and spend quality time together. While I know it was necessary to take it from Leland, and I enjoyed having that alone time with Alden, I'm hoping that I won't have to do that again. But if I have to, I will.

Because that's my job as a parent.

I'm hesitant to put this in writing...

...but sleep is actually going decent around here.

For the last two weeks, Alden has been falling asleep between 7:30 and 8:00 and only waking twice a night. For most one year old children, this is not good sleep, but for Alden, this is AMAZING. Remember, just a month ago, he was still waking every 2-3 hours.

We've tried a gazillion different things to help him sleep. I'm not sure I could even list them all, but here are a few:

• chiropractor
• swaddling
• sound machine
• various types of pajamas
• bottles instead of nursing before bed
• iron supplements
• other mineral supplements
• essential oils

I even tried the cry it out method, which I am completely against, for a couple of days. It was absolutely awful and it didn't help at all.

Whenever we did see a positive change, it would only last a couple of days. But most things didn't help at all.

We saw the biggest positive change when we started giving him iron supplements at nine months (when we learned he was iron-deficient). I had no idea it could help with sleep, but it totally did. And about two weeks ago, I started putting epsom salt and lavender oil in Alden's baths and that's when he started sleeping 4-5 hours at a time. I don't know if it's just a coincidence, but I read that lack of magnesium can cause sleep troubles, just like iron, and since using it in his baths, it's been amazing.

We still use the sound machine and it really helps as well. I notice that when I forget to turn it on, it takes him forever to fall asleep and he sleeps shorter stretches.

I am hoping and praying it continues. Alden is now sleeping about how well Leland slept at 3 months old. So...maybe in another year and a half, he'll be sleeping through the night.

How to Get Baby Milk - A School Story

Every day at lunch, I leave my classroom and my team teacher watches my class so I can pump. When I come back, I always take care of the milk and wash my pump parts while the kids finish cleaning up from lunch.

My students often ask me where I go during lunch, and I have always given very simple answers. I tell them I go to get Alden's milk. They ask me where, I tell them the principal's office (that's where I pump). It usually doesn't require very many simple, vague answers to satisfy them.

Today, one of my students was asking me lots and lots of questions. After the above questions were already asked and answered, the conversation continued...

Student: Can't you just fill a big container with milk and take it home so you don't have to get it every day?

Me: No, there's not enough for a bigger container.

Student: Why can't you just buy it at the store?

Me: It's not regular milk. It's baby milk.

Student: I don't get it. And what is that for? (pointing to my pump parts)

Me: It's how I get the milk.

Student: I still don't get it.


At this point I decided my vague answers weren't going to cut it.


Me: Honey, where do baby cows get their milk?

Student: From their moms.

Me: And baby pigs?

Student: From their moms.

Me: And...baby goats?

Student: From their mom.

Me: (just looked at her for a minute, watching the wheels turning in her head)

Student: OH! Oooohhhh. Okay, that's just weird.


Ha ha ha. She was totally weirded out. I asked her not to talk about it with other students and she happily obliged. I think she would really like to forget all about it. That'll teach her to ask so many questions. Ha!

Family Dinners

When I was growing up, we didn't always eat dinner together at the table. Many times we did, but I remember many times when didn't. I think it was partly because there seven of us and only six chairs, so the only times we ate dinner at the table were when one or more of us was gone. Also, two of my siblings were older and had jobs, so they weren't always home for dinner. Most of the time, if we were all home for dinner together, some of us would eat at the table, and some of us would eat in the living room.

I love my family, but we're not incredibly close. I talk to my siblings, and I used to spend time with each of them, but it's not like so many other families I know where siblings talk on a regular basis. I feel like our family isn't as close as it should be, and I think a lot of that has to do with not spending as much time together when we were growing up. The lack of family dinners, among other things, didn't instill a closeness or a connection between us. Of course, there was the weekly family Rosary (not kidding here...every Wednesday night we prayed the Rosary together) that forced us to be together, but it didn't allow us to communicate with each other and develop relationships with each other.

Now that I have kids of my own, it's kind of a big deal to me that we eat at the table. I want my kids to be close and love each other. I want them to have the kind of relationship that I lack with my siblings. I want us all to talk and enjoy each other's company. And I firmly believe that family dinners - again, among other things - will help foster that.

Every night, we all sit down at the same time and eat dinner (or breakfast or lunch). Dave and I leave our phones alone (unless we're taking a picture or video of the kids doing something funny) and we enjoy our meal as a family. We talk, we laugh, and we get pretty goofy. It's one of my favorite times of the day.

These pictures are actually from breakfast. Oh well.

This weekend, though, we broke our dinner-at-the-table rule. I told Leland we could watch a movie together Friday night, but since we started eating a little bit later than usual, I didn't think we would get to watch the whole movie before bed time. I'm trying to stay on the bed time routine now that we're back on a school schedule, so I didn't want them to go to bed late, even if it was the weekend.

Our solution: a picnic in the living room. We set out a towel on the floor for Leland, but that didn't work out with Alden crawling around, stealing food and making messes. So we brought Leland's high chair into the living room and we all ate in the living room while watching one of Leland's favorite movies: Planes.

I, surprisingly didn't take any pictures of this. But it was a fun night. I sure am loving this parenting thing.

On Being a Boy Mom

Recently, someone made a comment to me about another person being "able to produce girls" and alluded to that being better than a family with all boys. I don't think the comment was meant to be hurtful; it was just one of those comments that people make without thinking.

That's been on my mind lately, and I feel compelled to clear things up a bit. While it was likely an absent-minded comment, I'm sure there's a bit of truth in their thinking. There's an assumption when people have more than one child that they must want a boy and a girl. That life isn't complete if you don't have one of each. That it's sad if someone has all girls or all boys. And there's also an assumption that all women want a daughter and all men want a son.

Well, as a "boy mom," and as someone with friends and siblings that have children of only one gender, I don't think these assumptions are correct. When I was pregnant with Alden, a lot of people asked me if I was hoping for a girl. They were sort of surprised when I said no. I wasn't hoping for a girl or a boy; I was hoping for a long and fairly uneventful pregnancy (not a preemie again) and a healthy baby in the end (no NICU this time). Boy or girl really didn't matter to me. I was anxious to find out the gender, but that was for naming and planning purposes, not because I was hoping for one or the other. And then when I did find out the gender, some people - not intentionally, I'm sure - seemed disappointed and thought I might be bummed too.

I would just like to say that I love being a boy mom. I love trucks and tractors (good thing since Leland is obsessed). I love preppy boy clothes - argyle gets me every time. I love being the queen in a house full of boys - even our cat is a boy. I don't get all excited about ruffles and bows. I mean, they're cute and all, but I'm okay if I never have a house full of them.

These days, people ask me if we are having any more, and when I say that we want one more child - a few years from now - they almost always ask, "Gonna try for a girl?" As if anyone can "try" for a specific gender anyway. The answer is no, I am not hoping for a girl. When the time comes, I will be happy with a boy or a girl.

When we have our third, and probably last, baby (Again, let me assure you that it will be a while), I will be thrilled if it's another boy. I would be thrilled with ten boys, except that the food costs in the teenage years would likely kill me. I can honestly see myself being a mom of all boys and loving every second. But I will be thrilled if it's a girl, too. She wouldn't always be ruffly and frilly, and she may not have many hair bows, but she'll still be a cutie.

Now, some people do hope for one of each gender in their families, and there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone has their own dreams and wishes for their lives. Sometimes those wishes come true, and sometimes they don't. However, I'm sure they adore their families whether they get the wish for both genders or not.

I don't feel incomplete or slighted that I have two boys. I don't feel like I'm missing out. Just like my friends and family members with children of the same gender don't feel cheated.

So, if you ever feel compelled to tell someone how sad their life must be because they have children of only one gender, please just keep it to yourself. Chances are they are not sad about it, so you just sound like a jerk. Or if they are bummed about it, then you probably just made it worse.

One Week and a Few Vitamins Later

One of my goals for this summer was to get Alden to sleep in his own bed. We tried it several months ago and he did great for three nights before he got an ear infection, and that was the end of that.

Since then, he has slept in our bed again, and has been waking a gazillion times a night. Or, like, 10. Same diff. But it wasn't terrible having him in our bed if he was waking that much; it's much easier to just roll over and nurse him than have to get out of bed.

Since Alden was a newborn, he has been a terrible sleeper. But there always seemed to be a reason for it. First, there's the whole thing with him having just been born and having a teeny tiny tummy so he was hungry all the time. Then he had reflux and gas. Then he would scratch the heck out of his face in the night. (Remember that? Sheesh. Glad he outgrew that.) Then he had ear infections. Then he was teething. And basically, it got to the point where this boy was just used to getting up a million times a night, and it's always just been easier to have him right next to me than in another room. Which made him pretty much think that our bed was his and he hated his bed. He naps on his own at daycare, but at home, he just hated his bed. And every time we tried something new, it would work for 2-3 days and then he would revert back to his old sleeping pattern, or worse. 

But a little over a week ago, my mother-in-law was babysitting and she laid him in his bed and he napped for two hours. Dave and I needed to see this happen so that we would know that Alden could sleep in his own bed. And so we decided that was it - we just needed to get to work on the sleeping thing. This is the perfect time with me being on summer vacation, as much as I wasn't looking forward to it.

Last Sunday, we started putting Alden in his own bed at night and for naps. Getting him to sleep was really difficult the first few days. I am not okay with the "cry it out" method, so my method was to rub his back, talk to him, rock him, nurse him, and just keep him calm while he fell asleep. He needs to see his bed as a safe, comforting, and happy place, and it was my (well, our) job to help him get to that point. It took about five days before he would lay down without crying, and he goes down really easy now. Not as easy as Leland, but I don't think any child could possibly be that easy.

We have also started giving him some mineral supplements on top of his iron supplement and iron-rich foods. Since he's iron-deficient, he's probably deficient in other minerals as well. Those seemed to make a difference in the length of sleep stretches for a couple of days, and even slept FIVE HOURS once (first time ever), but it sort of leveled out and he's now sleeping three hour stretches at night. This isn't where I want him, but it's an improvement. It means waking 2-3 times a night instead of 7-8 or more.

So he's made some big improvements, but there's still room for more.

DIY Magic Butt Cream

Leland has never had much of a diaper rash. Once in a while, he gets a little red, and I apply some Vaseline and that's that. A few times, I have had to apply some actual diaper cream, but it clears up quickly.

Alden has a bit more sensitive skin, and I've had to use actual diaper cream more often, but it's never lasted more than a couple of days. Until last week when I went to change his diaper and his penis/scrotum area was SUPER rashy. I had never seen it this red. If it weren't his genitals, I might share a picture, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

I tried diaper cream first. Nothing.

Then I tried Vaseline. Then Aquaphor. Nothing.

Then I tried coconut oil. Then lotion. Still nothing.

I knew there had to be some secret remedy out there, so I went to social media. Someone on my instagram suggested Magic Butt Cream. Considering how Magic Nipple Cream has saved my life on more than one occasion, I called our pediatrician to see if I could get a prescription.

But they said they don't call in that kind of prescription on the weekends - only absolutely necessary scripts, like antibiotics (LAME!). And they also said that many insurance companies won't pay for it because it's mostly over-the-counter meds.

So I checked with Google and found a recipe for homemade Magic Butt Cream. Then I went to the pharmacy to see if it was correct. Actually, I first asked if I could just use my Magic Nipple Cream on it (guessing it's a yeast infection, and the cream has an anti-fungal medicine in it), but since the nipple cream also has a steroid, the pharmacist said not to use it. And he gave me a list of what I needed.

To make your own Magic Butt Cream, you need:

• Clotrimazole (athlete's foot cream) or Miconazole (women's yeast infection cream) - both have anti-fungal medicine so both will work. If you have a prescription, the pharmacy will use Nystatin.
• Diaper cream with 40% zinc oxide (Desitin maximum strength)
• Triple Antibiotic Ointment (Neosporin)

Mix them all together (equal parts of each), and apply liberally. Store in airtight container.

I noticed a difference after one application. And Alden didn't seem to be grabbing himself during diaper changes quite so much after the first application. Now, you can use just an anti-fungal to clear up the rash from what I've heard/read, but the other ingredients help form a barrier against moisture, as well as relieve discomfort. In the recipes I found online, people have also mixed Maalox in, because it helps with the pain (gives a cooling sensation). The pharmacist didn't suggest this, and it sounded weird to me, so I didn't include it. But I think if Alden seemed really uncomfortable, I might try it. Anything for my kid.

Yay for butt cream! I am so glad I found something that works, but I hope I never have to use it again.

Bug Bites

About two weeks ago, I was getting Leland dressed in the morning and noticed that one ankle was swollen. When I looked closer and felt his leg, I realized that the entire leg below the knee was swollen. It was really hard all the way around, and was visibly bigger than his other leg. I saw a couple of mosquito bites and knew this was a reaction to them, but I wasn't sure if this was a "normal" reaction or something I should be concerned about. So I called our doctor and they wanted to check him out.

After they saw him, they said it was a local reaction to individual bites, but there were three or four bites, so it made his whole leg swell. They said giving him Claritin would help. It went down a few days later.

Then yesterday, as we were walking in to daycare, I noticed his other ankle was swollen and I saw a bite on the back. I told Julie to just keep an eye on it, and I would take a look at it when I picked him up. Well, after his nap, it was more red and swollen, and the actual site of the bite looked more irritated. 

Not sure if you can see (crappy phone picture), but there's a big red spot on his foot and swelling from the bite.

Again, crappy phone pic, but the bite looked pretty bad. There was some discharge and small blisters around it.

So I called our pediatrician and just asked the nurse how I could tell if it was infected. She mentioned that any discharge should be checked out, and she seemed concerned about the small blisters I had seen, so she suggested we come in.

After looking at it, the doctor told me it was just a large local reaction. Basically, Leland is sensitive to mosquito bites, and one bite can cause a lot of swelling. While the blisters and discharge aren't "normal," they're pretty harmless. The doctor suggested Benadryl this time, along with an ice pack to help with swelling. He told me what to look for in terms of infection and sent us on our way.

So basically, I've spent $60 (plus the cost of the Claritin) at the doctor's office in the last two weeks because of mosquito bites. That could have been a new pair of shoes or several outfits for the boys. Damn mosquitoes!

How I Almost Died This Weekend

So, this weekend I started having some really bad pain...in the upper feminine region related to nursing. It felt like the early days of nursing and it was AWFUL!

I texted a friend of mine to see if she had ever experienced this after 8 months of successful nursing. Her response was:

"Yes...when I was pregnant with Elliott and didn't know it." (She has three boys - her first two are 22 months apart like mine, and she found out she was pregnant again when her younger one was 8 months old, like Alden is now.)

My response: "I'm going to die. Right now."

I was immediately terrified and thought I was going to have a heart attack. Then I told Dave what my friend said, and he said, "I'm not listening." Then later said, "If you're pregnant right now, I'm getting a vasectomy." Ummm...yes. Yes, you are. And I'm getting my tubes tied ASAP.

Well, I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. Thank the Lord.

Do I want a third child? Yes. Do I want three kids age three and under? No. We are hoping to have about three years between Alden and our last baby. I am not ready to be pregnant again yet; the mere thought of being pregnant (and exhausted more than I already am) is terrifying to me. Perhaps if Alden ever slept I would feel different. But for right now, our hands are about full as they can get. And our checking account is about as low as it can get while still having a little extra money here and there. So we are not planning on a third anytime soon. However, we weren't planning on Alden either, and now I can't imagine my life without him. So I guess if it was God's plan, we would figure it out and eventually embrace it. But, man, would it be scary at first!

Thankfully, I have friends in high places. My dear friend's mom is a lactation consultant and my mother-in-law works in a pharmacy, so I was able to get a prescription and have it filled quickly on a Sunday evening. So all is well now and the pain is getting less and less. But I seriously almost died this weekend.

Lonely

Every day at school, I have to leave the classroom to pump. I usually do this twice a day; once when my students are in PE or Spanish, and once during lunch. At lunch time, a parapro comes to my classroom to relieve me to pump for about 10-15 minutes.

Surprisingly, my students haven't asked me much about it. When I did this after having Leland, they all had a million questions (thankfully they were satisfied with very simple answers), but my current students have only asked me where I go at lunch time. I tell them that I have to go get Alden's milk and they are totally fine with this answer. Some kids know how it all works because they have younger siblings and they prefer not to talk about it.

Last week, a student asked me where I go to get Alden's milk, and I told her I usually go to the principal's office.

"Is Mrs. Ferris (the principal) there when you go?" she asked.

"No, she's not." I said.

"So, you're in there all by yourself?"

"Yes."

"Maybe you should ask Mrs. Ferris to stay with you sometime so you have someone to talk to. It's probably pretty lonely in there."

I managed not to laugh. I smiled and assured her that I'm okay, and I don't get too lonely. Then later I had a good laugh at the thought of inviting my principal to hang out with me while I pump. Awkward...

Oh, the innocence of children.

Happy Mama Heart

Now that the weather is finally spring like, I am enjoying taking the boys for walks around the neighborhood as much as we can.

A few days ago, during one of our walks, I noticed Alden grabbing at Leland's hand. Leland wasn't really paying much attention, but then when Alden's hand brushed his, Leland grabbed a hold of it. I just happened to have just snapped a pic of them, so my phone was prepared to capture this sweet moment. 

It lasted about 30 seconds before Leland was back to pointing out all the different things he likes to look at.

Alden adores Leland - he's happy just to watch him, but he's ecstatic when Leland gives him attention. And even though Leland is a busy toddler, he still stops to interact with his brother. I love how much they love each other. It makes my heart so happy to see moments like this. 

Oh my gosh!

A few days ago, Leland went pee on the potty for the first time (And second time. He went once before bath and once after. Probably while he was in the bath too, but let's not talk about that). He has sat on the potty about a million times, but never did anything on it. 

When he did the other night, I was completely surprised and shouted, "Oh my gosh! You peed on the potty! Oh my gosh!"

And since Leland is at the age where he loves to repeat things, he started repeating "Oh my gosh!" over and over. I told him to go tell Daddy what he did, and all he could say was, "Oh my gosh!" And when he went to bed about an hour later, he was talking to himself in his bed, saying, "Oh my gosh! I pee potty! Oh my gosh!" 

His little voice is the cutest thing in the world when he's saying the most ordinary things, but when he says things with such excitement, oh, I could just burst.

So, like any obsessed parent, I took a couple of short videos of this new phrase of his (the bath one is my favorite...that face!). Enjoy!

As for the pottying, he has gone one other time since then. I don't think he's ready to REALLY potty train yet, but he likes sitting on it, which is a good start. I'm not really in any hurry. I would like him to be potty trained by age three, so that he can start going to preschool part-time at my school, but that's still eight months away. I'm taking cues from him, and when I think he's really ready, we'll work on it. For now, I just let him sit on it when he wants, and I offer at every diaper change.