31 weeks...

How far along: 31 weeks

Total Weight Gain: 24 pounds

Size of Baby: pineapple

Maternity Clothes?: Yup. Nothing else will do.

Sleep: Hit and miss. Sometimes I sleep great, and sometimes I have a hard time getting comfortable. And, of course, sleep is much easier when Leland sleeps well, which hasn’t been happening.

Food Cravings: Again, everything I can’t have. But I’m doing well with the things I can have. Eating lots of peanut butter.

Food Aversions: None really.

Gender: Boy, oh boy!

Symptoms: Achy back, like whoa!

Milestones: Hello, third trimester!

Movement: Still all the time. He’s been stretching himself out lately too.

Best moment this week: Our day in Leland was so much fun! Exactly what I needed before heading back to school this week.

Looking forward to: Finishing up my classroom preparation. I had it pretty much done, and then was told today that I am getting cubbies. I am excited for cubbies, because I asked for them, but now I have to move my furniture all around.

Extra Notes: I met with my dietitian again today. She wanted to check what my glucose levels have been and also make sure I hadn’t lost weight in the last week. I gained one pound since last Tuesday, and my sugar has been around 120 most of the time {the goal is 140 or less}. I have had a couple high ones, but only by 4-5 points, and the dietitian seems to think I didn’t have enough protein in those meals/snacks. So it appears I should be able to manage my GD without insulin, which is what I was hoping for. The hard part is that I don’t really like meat, so my main sources of protein are cheese, cottage cheese, and peanut butter. Yogurt too, but that also has carbs, so I can’t have a lot of it.

Back to Reality...

Well, folks, it's that time of year again. Time to rejoin the land of the working, which means alarm clocks and packing lunches, as well as hugs and spending time with some amazing kids.

This comes with mixed emotions, to say the least.

I adore my job. I really, in all honesty, believe I have the BEST job in the entire world. I love my students, their parents, and my co-workers. I love having a job that lets me be creative and share it with others.

But just because I have an amazing job doesn't mean I don't feel a little sad to be going back to it. I have had the most amazing summer - the best I can ever remember. So going back to work is tough because I will SO miss having all this time with him.

Besides my own sadness about missing him, I also know that the working-mommy guilt is about to set it. Guilt that he spends close to 10 hours a day in daycare and that I spend more time with other people's kids than my own. It's tough, and it totally kills me.

I am stuck between loving my kid and loving {and needing} my job.

A perfect solution would be if my school had an on-site daycare so I could pop in and see him when I get a free minute. I guess I'll have to wait until he turns three and goes to preschool there for me to do that {not that I'm rushing him...stay little, Leland!}.

So anyway, all this to say that I report back to school today. Students come back next Tuesday. I am excited and sad at the same time.

Here's a crazy little thought to leave you with though - the next school break, I will have two kids! Wow!

Leland {The Town}...

I know I've mentioned it before, but just in case someone missed it, there is a cute little town about a 45 minute drive north of us called Leland. It's right on Lake Michigan {there are all kinds of cute small towns along Lake Michigan}. One of the items on my summer bucket list was to head up to Leland, the town, for a day with Leland, my kid.

When Leland was little, one of my friends got him a tugboat onesie from a garage sale that I adored. It had a tugboat on the front and the words "Fishtown - Leland" on the back. The tugboat is the unofficial {or maybe official, I don't know} symbol for Fishtown, and Fishtown is a tiny little part of Leland {Yes, a tiny town,
with a teeny, tiny town of its own, if you will}.

Fishtown is filled with all these old, weathered fishing shanties that have been turned into little shops.

So anyway, Leland and I went to Leland today to get him a new tugboat shirt. And one for myself as well. My mom, sister-in-law and nieces went too. We had such a fun day, and it was GORGEOUS, which made it even better.

Our first stop was to get Leland's shirt at Tug Stuff.

Leland's shirt - he got green, I got blue

Then we walked around and visited the other shops in Fishtown...

And found a few more trinkets, like this shirt for Leland.

We then had lunch at the Cheese Shanty. They have delicious sandwiches. I had an amazing turkey sandwich on pretzel bread. In order to maintain my blood sugar, I had to eat just the bottom bun, but it was still SO good.

I can't tell you how much I wanted to visit the "Dam Candy Store" for some ice cream. I could smell their waffle cones and I nearly died because I couldn't have any.

My niece, Ella, at one of the shops in Fishtown

Then we walked through Leland, which is also full of cute, fun little shops. We visited more clothing shops, where Leland got yet another article of "Leland" apparel, a fleece that was on SUPER sale.

And I got a Michigan "Love" sticker. These are available in Traverse City, too, but I haven't ever bought one. I guess it's more special that it came from Leland than TC. I don't know. 

I also got a Leland sticker for my car, but haven't put it on yet. It has the tugboat and says Leland on it.

We also visited a toy store, and Leland got a train to add to his collection at home.

After shopping, we ran around in the park for a bit. I hate when Leland spends too much time in his stroller. He is an active boy and needs to run and play. While I did let him run around Fishtown quite a bit, I felt like he needed more time to just explore before he sat in the car for 45 minutes.

We attempted to get a picture of the three kids, but Madeline ran away and Leland wouldn't sit still. Ella was cooperative though.

Pushing the stroller. Or trying to anyway.

Exploring the garden. He always likes to check out flowers and plants.

Melinda, Madeline, and Ella. Madeline was not happy to have to sit still.

You would never know from this picture that Leland was not into having his picture taken. He was squirming all over, and Melinda actually got several pictures of him smiling. I don't know how she does it.

So there you have it. Our last adventure of the summer, as I report back to school on Monday. I had an amazing summer home with my munchkin, and I am sad to see it end. I loved having so much time with him. The next time I have a school break, I will have two kids. That is kind of crazy to think about.

30 weeks...

How far along: 30 weeks

Sorry, no picture this week. It's been a crazy day and I am in my jammies on the couch. Ready for bed!

Total Weight Gain: 23 lbs.

Size of Baby: cucumber

Maternity Clothes?: Uh huh.

Sleep: Sleep has been ok. I wake a few times to pee, but I can at least get back to sleep. I just never feel like I get enough sleep though.

Food Cravings: Everything I can’t have. Still pity-partying a bit about that, but I’m doing okay with it.

Food Aversions: None right now.

Gender: Boy. No longer has an official name. Dave is having second thoughts. Oy!

Symptoms: Lower-back pain, slight swelling in my feet, but only once in a while.

Milestones: 30 weeks! My little pumpkin pie is three-fourths baked!

Movement: Yup. And it’s now to the point that my whole belly moves when he moves.

Best moment this week: Visiting the Old Engine Show. Just a fun afternoon as a family.

Looking forward to: My OB appointment on Friday. I now go every two weeks. J

Extra Notes: As I already stated, Dave is having second thoughts on the name Casen. I knew it was too good to be true. However, he wasn’t entirely sure on Leland’s name until we were in the hospital, so I guess I won’t worry too much. Maybe he’ll come around.

Debbie Downer...

Lately, I feel like I keep getting "bummer" news dropped on me. Nothing absolutely terrible, but just things that have been bringing me down little by little.

For example, the school year is approaching. A few things I was hoping for this year were to (1) move to a classroom closer to my teaching team. Last year, I wasn't very close to them and it just made communication difficult. And (2) get cubbies for my classroom. Before last year, I had cubbies in my classroom instead of lockers in the hallway. This was so nice, and I was hoping I could have them this year. But neither are happening. Now, this isn't terrible news. Really, moving classrooms would probably be really difficult at this point in my pregnancy. And while I really wish we could have cubbies, my students don't mind the lockers. So I am trying to not get too bummed about it.

Then there's Leland's ear surgery, which I was not excited about in the first place. But having it cost $1,000 more than we thought it would is definitely a pain. {Especially after having to fix things around the house this summer.}

Then you have Leland's sleeping issues, which have only just started but are definitely taking a toll on me emotionally. He doesn't seem to have a problem every night, but it's been about every other night. I hate seeing him have such a hard time.

Add to that my apparent gestational diabetes, and you have a bummed out pregnant lady on your hands. Bye bye, Potters doughnuts. Not that I ate them every day. Really about once or twice a month. But I'm pretty sure they're not on my approved "diet."

All of these things alone aren't too bad, but when put all together, I start feeling a little down.  I tend to look for the bright side in every situation, and I feel like I've been doing a good job of that. But I feel like all of my news lately has been bad news, and I'm feeling like a major Debbie Downer.

I need something to pick up my spirits and it can't be ice cream or cookies or cake. It also can't be retail therapy {Thanks a lot, tube surgery!}. Looks like it will have to be beach therapy. Thankfully, this week's forecast is looking pretty awesome, so Leland and I plan to spend a few of our last summer days as beach bums.

Old Engine Show...

This weekend, Dave and I took Leland to the Buckley Old Engine Show. Buckley is a tiny town {if you can even call it a town} about 15 minutes from us. They have the Old Engine Show every year, but neither Dave nor I had ever been to it. Since Leland is such a fan of trains and tractors, we thought he would enjoy it, so we decided to check it out.

So, I look like a fat lady instead of a pregnant lady, and Leland would not look at Dave {he was too interested in the tractors driving by}, but at least it's a picture with me in it for once.

It was a hot day! We knew it was going to be about 80 degrees, but 80 degrees in downtown Traverse City - where you have the breeze from Lake Michigan - and 80 degrees in a big open field in the middle of nowhere feel completely different. We had fun though. Sweaty, dusty, dirty fun.

The first thing we did was head to the steam engine.

We had to wait in line for about 10-15 minutes, but Leland was fine with it; he had tractors to watch.

About to board the train!

Leland loved the train ride. He was all smiles and could not sit still. This photo was taken by surprise with my phone.

After the train ride, we saw this train...

And then we went to check out the rest of the Engine Show.

This was right by the "train depot"

Little shops and things to check out. So cute.

There was a tractor parade going on while we were there. I'm not sure if that goes on all day long {it sure could go on all day long with the bagillions of tractors that were there!}, but it was fun to watch for a few minutes. 

Just a couple of the "old engines."

Couldn't resist this one. Maybe it's a sign that our baby's name is supposed to be Casen. I should tell that to Dave, since he is having second thoughts about the name.

Leland loved watching this tractor drive around and park. He kept waving at the driver and rider, which is funny because he usually only waves goodbye, not hello. He was in awe.

I don't think I mentioned how many people were there. Holy cow, this place was filled with people. When we got there, I made a comment about how many cars were there. It was ridiculous. We parked probably a half-mile or more from the entrance. And then there were so many people camping there too. It was insane. I didn't think it was that popular, but apparently people come from all over for this event. There is a HUGE flea market {Anyone know why it's called that? Such a weird name.} that we checked out just a small portion of. There were also lots of food vendors, but I knew that nothing would be on my new "diet," so we skipped food.

When it was time to go, I was tired from being pregnant, hot, and walking around all day. Dave was tired from carrying Leland or pushing his stroller. And Leland was just plain tired. Rather than walk a million miles back to our car, we opted to hop on a trolley, pulled by a tractor of course. Lazy, perhaps. But I considered it just another fun adventure for Leland.

Again, he couldn't sit still. He was looking all around and just taking it all in. I did manage to get one picture when the trolley was stopped. And he happened to be crossing his fingers at that moment. I love that he does this. He will cross his index and middle fingers, but he also crosses his pinky and ring fingers. I think it's adorable.

So there you have it. The Buckley Old Engine Show. A good time was had by all, and I think Leland will have even more fun next year!

It's not the cheapest event to attend, at $10 per adult, but thankfully kids 15 and under are free, so it's not terrible. We'll be back...until our kids turn 16 and then they're on their own!

Waaahhhh...

That's the only thing I can say right now. I have no other words in reaction to hearing that I failed my second glucose test today. Which means I am now considered a gestational diabetic.

WAAAHHHH!

I'm pouting and throwing myself a pity party tonight. I don't want to give up my sweet treats or eat more protein. I don't want to test my sugar all day long. But more than that, this makes me so much more nervous about the arrival of our little man {P.S. Dave "isn't sure" about the name Casen anymore, so he's back to being Baby No-Name for now...insert eye roll and another waaahhhh}.

I have been very anxious over the last few weeks about Baby's delivery. I worry that he will come early, like Leland. I do not want another NICU stay. But I also worry that he will come late and be gigantic. You see, Dave's family has a history of 9+ pound babies. His sister had an 11-pounder. And she's an average-size girl with an average-size husband. I am an average-size girl with gigantic-size husband. Basically, genetics aren't on my side for an easy delivery like I had with Leland. Leland was 5lbs. 7oz. While it took a long time to get things moving with my labor, I only pushed for 45 minutes. Little babies just come out easier, so he did not exactly "pave the way" for a big baby.

Having gestational diabetes means my baby is more likely to have "excessive growth." So he could totally be huge. He is also more likely to have difficulty maintaining his blood sugar after birth, which would require NICU intervention. So my two biggest fears could potentially happen at the same time - huge baby and NICU stay.

I obviously want this baby to be bigger and healthier than Leland was, but I don't want a happy-medium, you know? Healthy 7-8 pound baby, not man-baby.

There really isn't anything I can do to prevent either from happening that I'm not already doing. I'm getting my weekly shots to prevent pre-term birth, and I will watch my sugar and continue to be active to control my glucose levels. Whatever is going to happen, is going to happen and there isn't anything I can do about it.

But I will continue to throw myself a pity party anyway, for however long it takes me to feel better.

Night Troubles...

Leland has always - ALWAYS - been an easy baby to get to sleep. He pretty much begs to go "night-night" every night around 7:00, or sometimes earlier. He grabs his blankie, says goodnight to Dave, I rock him while he drinks his bottle, and then I give him pacifier and he's ready for bed.

Now, he hasn't always been the best at sleeping through the night. At 19 months, he still wakes up once every night because he loses his pacifier and needs a new one {I think it's time to lose the paci, but I don't know if he'll sleep without it}. It's usually sometime between 1:00 and 3:00 am that he wakes up for his paci.

Two nights ago, Leland woke up crying about 30 minutes after I laid him down. This is really weird for him, and I thought maybe his leg was stuck between the slats of the crib {that has happened a couple of times during nap}. I went to check on him and he was standing in his crib reaching for me. Very unusual, so I picked him up and tried to rock him a little, but he started completely freaking out. He was squirming like crazy and pointing at the hallway. I had a hard time holding onto him so I set him down and thought he would walk to where he wanted to go, and maybe show me he needed something. He ran into the hallway, stopped in the middle, ran back to me, and started freaking out again. I took him out to the living room, because it was very obvious something in his room was bothering him. He seemed like he wanted Dave, so I handed him to him, and he calmed down for approximately three seconds. Then he started screaming again and reaching for me. He went on screaming bloody murder - not exaggerating - for probably 5-10 minutes, which seemed like hours. Dave thought he was constipated, but he had just had a healthy one. Then he thought maybe he was bit by a bug or had been stung earlier when we were outside and it was just now bothering him. But he had no marks or anything on him. It was really scary to see him like this.

Finally, he calmed down with some books and toys in his play room. I tried to give him another bottle, but he didn't want it and was still not interested in going near his room. Dave tried to take him to our room, but he didn't want to sleep there either. Eventually, he sat with me on the couch. We had a snack while we watched some Chuggington. We read more books. And he finally let me take him into his room. I gave him a bottle, and he fell asleep fine - two and a half hours after his usual bed time.

The next day {yesterday} was a trying day for this mama. Leland was a crab all day. He didn't nap well, and he was just difficult all around. I was exhausted from the night before and just emotionally spent from it all. Last night, we had a family thing and got home a little after his usual bed time, but he went to sleep fine. He slept all night, minus the one pacifier wake-up, and woke up happy. He was in a great mood all day and napped as he normally does.

Tonight, at about 6:45, Leland started getting grumpy. I asked if he was ready to go night-night, and he started giggling and ran to the fridge {meaning: I want my bottle for bed time}. So we did our usual routine. Kiss Daddy goodnight, rock with Mommy while drinking his bottle and snuggling his blankie. He nearly fell asleep while drinking his bottle. When it was gone, I gave him his paci and laid him down. He went right to sleep.

Twenty minutes later, he was crying in his room. I went to check on him, and the same thing happened as the other night. He wasn't screaming like Monday night, but he was crying and just seemed scared. This time, I just rocked him in his room though. I didn't want to take him out, because I wanted to show him that he's safe there and I don't want this to become a habit. He can't stay up until 9:30 because in a few weeks, school will start and we have to leave the house by 7:00am. However, had he been as bad as Monday night, I would have taken him anywhere he wanted. I never want to experience that again.

It took me 40 minutes to rock him to sleep. He doesn't normally even like to be rocked for very long; he starts asking to go in his crib after a couple minutes. I don't know if he'll wake up again tonight or not, but for now, he's asleep.

I'm worried he may be having bad dreams. I had night terrors as a child - apparently very bad from what my mom says. I read that night terrors don't usually occur until about three years old. But something is definitely going on, and from what I've read, it seems consistent with night terrors. It breaks my heart to see him so sad and scared and not be able to do anything about it. He is absolutely inconsolable. I can't imagine what else it could be that is making him wake up like that. I am praying it doesn't go on too long. It makes me so sad for him.

29 weeks...

How far along: 29 weeks

Someone wanted to join the photo shoot today.

 Total Weight Gain: +22 lbs.

Size of Baby: acorn squash

Maternity Clothes?: Definitely. I am limited in my collection of maternity shirts, but since school is starting soon and I will be wearing my uniform once again, I don’t really need very many.

Sleep: This past week has been tough. I wake up at around 1:00 to go to the bathroom and I CANNOT get back to sleep for hours.

Food Cravings: Carbs, sugar. No wonder I failed my glucose test.

Food Aversions: None right now.

Gender: Sweet boy. With a name! Casen Henry.

Symptoms: It’s a little difficult to get around sometimes, especially when I first get up in the morning.

Milestones: Another week down. J

Movement: I seriously can’t get over how much he moves. I don’t remember Leland moving this much. He moves all day long.

Best moment this week: Hands down, deciding on a name! I love his name. But I’m not one of those people that can call him by that name just yet. I was like this with Leland too. I just can’t call him by his name until he’s closer to being here.

Looking forward to: Getting my three hour glucose test over with.

Extra Notes: I am not surprised that I failed my one hour, with the blood sugar issues I’ve been having and my weight gain over the last few weeks, but I am super bummed about it. The thought of possibly having gestational diabetes is scary, but the one hour test isn’t all that accurate, so hopefully I pass the three hour. This is the first time I’ve ever heard the phrase, “You didn’t pass” on any test in my life. Boo.

Goin' to the Fair...

This past week was the Northwest Michigan Fair. I was so excited to take Leland this year! Since he loves all of his animal books, I thought he would really enjoy seeing animals up close and personal.

We had a busy weekend last weekend and this weekend, so we knew Dave wouldn't be able to go with us to the fair. Instead, Leland and I went during the day on Wednesday.

We started out walking by all the animals. Since I was alone with Leland, I wasn't able to get many pictures. But there wasn't much to photograph anyway, because he really didn't care about the animals. Like, at all. I thought he would really like the cows, since that's his favorite animal in all of his farm books.

He did like a few of the horses that he could see up close. And he thought it was hilarious to see their owners giving them treats. But he was also a little freaked out by their size, I think.

The pigs were probably his favorite. They were in the process of corralling them to take them to auction, I think, so they were very noisy. He thought that was funny. But we couldn't get very close because everyone seemed to be in the same spot, so no pictures.

After the pigs, Leland really didn't care about any of the animals, so we went off to have some lunch. After lunch, I knew Leland would want to see the tractors. He is obsessed with Dave's lawn mower and any kind of machinery, so I knew he would get a kick out of the big "tackers." And sure enough, we spent the next 45 minutes or so climbing on the tractors.

We climbed on BIG tractors...

And small tractors...

And we tried to climb in the REALLY big tractors, but the doors were locked.

After the tractors, Leland and I shared an elephant ear and visited with a few of my students/future students that were also at the fair. Then we headed home and Leland took a long nap. Apparently, climbing on tractors is exhausting.

I'm hoping that next year Dave will be able to join us. Especially since we'll have another little munchkin to join the fun, and Leland will surely be more interested in the animals and rides. But Leland and I had lots of fun, just the two of us, and I love how he always seems to surprise me.

Finally! My Kid Likes Books!

I love to read. I love teaching reading. I love books, and I love when kids loves books.

You always hear that it's good to read to kids while they are in the womb. When I was pregnant with Leland, he heard all kinds of stories in utero, because I was reading to my students all the time. He probably heard Skippyjon Jones most of all, because that's my students' and my favorite.

When he was in the NICU, I read stories to him while we snuggled. Usually lovey-dovey ones, like "God Gave Us You," and "On the Night You Were Born."

At home, I read him stories when he was itty bitty, but once he was mobile, he didn't care. I tried to read him stories that I love, like Dr. Seuss books. But he wasn't having it. My son was not a book lover. He was an explorer. A mischievous little monkey. There was no time for books with so many drawers to open and tables to climb on.

I didn't give up hope though. I kept trying to read to him when I felt that he might enjoy it, and I kept books around so that he could get them if he wanted. He has an entire shelf full of books in his room, but they are up high, so I made sure some were on a little table in his bedroom, and some were on his toy shelf in his play room. I kept them at his level. For the longest time, all he wanted to do was chew them or smack them together. I seriously thought my kid would NEVER intentionally look at a book, which, as a teacher, was a hard pill to swallow.

A few weeks ago though, he found a book that caught his attention.

It's the simplest little book. About six sentences total with a bunch of pictures of babies smiling. 

He loved it and wanted to read it about 37 times a day, not exaggerating. And I didn't mind reading it that many times. I was just excited that he finally liked a book.

Then he ventured toward these books.

These itty bitty board books that I got from one of my baby showers. They have four pages each. Again, very simple books, but he loves them. He grabs all four of them and brings them to me with a big smile on his face. When I sit down and ask him to sit on my lap, he gets all giddy. I read each of them, and he asks me to read them again and again. Dave hates these books, but we continue to read them because it's just so adorable how much he loves them!

And just in the last week or so, he has found a few other books that he likes. I'm pretty sure I read "Hello Panda" six times in a row this morning. He loves it.

And this book has a bunch of nursery rhymes. Leland's favorite is "Pat-a-cake." He does the actions with me too. And, as of today, he really likes "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Wheels on the Bus." He does the actions with me on those too.

Funny that none of these books are ones that I actually bought or chose for him. They were all gifts, except for "Smile." That was from when I enrolled him in Healthy Futures. Apparently, we have different tastes in books. But I'm okay with that, as long as my kid finally likes books! 

More than that, his latest habit is the cutest ever. When he throws a tantrum {which is often these days}, I ignore it. I walk away or continue what I'm doing and don't pay attention. After about a minute of continuing his fit, he walks away to his play room. And suddenly, it's quiet. When I peek in to see what he's doing, he's usually looking at his books. That's what he was doing when I took this IG pic - getting over a fit about something silly {like mean mom not letting him play in the toilet}.

If this is how he always self-soothes when he doesn't get his way, I will be one happy mama.