Fourteen Months...

Here's your monthly update on Leland James! I know you've been anxiously awaiting it.

Also, I managed to use a "real" camera for most of these pictures!!! However, I didn't edit them because I'm running low on space on my picasa web albums and I haven't figured out how to fix that.

• Still loves to play peek-a-boo and loves when I "chase" him around the house.

Playing peek-a-boo in the hallway

Oh, hey! 

Welcome to my room!

Come on in and make yourself at home!

• When he is tired, he goes to his bedroom to get his blanket. Then he brings it to me and snuggles in my lap with it. Sweetest thing ever.
• He has two big stuffed animals. A pig and a frog and he loves to snuggle them and carry them around, which is hilarious because they are pretty much as tall as he is.

• Not many words yet: mama (mom), dada (sometimes "dad" and sometimes just babbling), baba (sometimes "bottle" and sometimes just babbling) and nuh nuh (sometimes "no" and sometimes "num," like he's hungry). But he communicates very well non-verbally.
• He wants to climb everything these days. He gets really mad when I won't let him climb into the oven or dishwasher.
• The kid loves food. Like, whoa! Sometimes I can't believe how much he eats.

• One new tooth and we're working on a molar. Fun times.
• Was sleeping great at night again, and then the teething started again. He just likes to keep me guessing!
• He wants to eat or drink whatever I have. Even if it's just water, when he sees me eat or drink something, he starts smacking his lips and smiling at me until I give him some. It's hilarious.
• Wearing mostly 18-24 month clothes. He can wear 18 month pants, but the shirt sleeves are too short.
• I discovered that I am a little obsessed with collared shirts. He only has three shirts without collars. Ha ha. And one of them is a sweater, so it's still pretty preppy.

Look how big I am, Mama!

• Wearing size 5 diapers. He was last month too, but I think I forgot to mention it.
• Wearing size 5 shoes. He got his first pair of shoes this month that aren't soft-soled or slippers.
• His 24 month snowsuit is already too small. He has plenty of room in the legs and arms, but the torso is getting too short. My long torso child...just like his daddy. I think it will be okay for how often he uses it this winter, but it's just crazy to me how it's already getting small.
• He's kind of in between needing a morning nap and not needing one. He always takes one at daycare, but on the weekends it's hit and miss. Maybe because he sleeps a little later on the weekends.
• He loves to dance! By himself and with me holding him.
• He is super ticklish on his feet and he loves when I tickle him.
• Not interested in TV yet, but I'm totally fine with that. I sort of dread the day that he wants to watch TV instead of play.
• Still nursing before bed and upon waking and sometimes at nap time on the weekends.

First time on the carousel at the mall.

Just what I needed...

Yesterday, at school, one of my students gave me this letter.

I was having a rough day and this was exactly what I needed. It read:

Dear Mrs. Nowak,

Here are some things to explain how you are so important. You are always helping kids and always nice to others. You never say mean things and you're always positive. You are always helping me when or how I need it. In a fire drill, you make sure everybody is out before you leave. In a tornado drill, you always get us safely to the bathroom. When I get hurt or cut, you get me a band-aid. Also, you give us treats like chocolate. Those are all very good reasons how you are super important to us. And we all like you as a teacher. I want to give you a treat too.

From,
(student's name)

How sweet is that. I get little notes all the time from students that tell me they love me, but this one just really made my day. I love my job and my sweet, sweet kiddos.

Holy Guacamole! I won something!

Last Friday, I was catching up on some of my favorite blogs, when I stumbled upon a giveaway on the The Glamorous Life of a Housewife. 

I don't often enter giveaways, because I know the chances of me winning are slim to none. But I decided to enter this one for Pink Sugar body lotion. Whitney says the scent is very clean and fresh, and I'm always looking for new lotions to try.

Well, I kind of forgot I entered until I was catching up on blogs again tonight and saw that she posted the winner on Sunday. 

IT'S ME! 

Hurraaaayyy! I won a giveaway!

And this couldn't have come at a better time because I'm having kind of a terrible week (I know it's only Tuesday, but it's pretty crappy so far). This totally brightened my night!

Thanks, Whitney! I can't wait to try it!

A Series of Letters...

Dear Winter,

Please stop. I understand that I live in Michigan (and northern Michigan at that), but enough with the snow. It's pretty much overkill. Looking forward to a sunny March. Don't let me down.

Sincerely,
Renee (aka: the girl who wishes she lived in Florida November-March)

*     *     *

Dear March,

While I look forward to your hopefully warmer and sunnier days, and spring break of course, I am getting a little nervous for your arrival. You are a busy month for me with reading assessments, report cards, parent-teacher conferences (and summary forms about each individual student). Please be kind to me. You can go by quickly, but not so quickly that I get stressed out.

Thanks Bunches!
Renee

*    *     *

Dear iPhone-Loving-Self,

I realize that taking pictures with your phone is much more convenient than lugging around your huge camera, but it's time to start using it again! I know it's hard since it's winter time and we can't just hangout outside snapping photos all the time, but please make it a point to dust off your awesome Nikon D5000 and take some beautiful photos of the most adorable boy ever.

You'll thank me later,

Yourself

*     *     *

Dear ABC,

I am seriously in love with your primetime shows. While I have had a hard time saying goodbye to Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters, and Private Practice, I am L-O-V-I-N-G Nashville! I also just started watching Scandal, and I have no idea if I'm watching it in order, but I love it. And as always, Grey's Anatomy knocks my socks off every week (please don't ever cancel Grey's for I will surely die)!

Love,

Your most loyal viewer

*     *     *

Dear Molars,

You make my baby miserable, which makes me miserable. You suck. I don't like you. Make it quick.

You don't get a nice closing because you suck,

One tired mama

Husband/Wife Quiz

When I saw this on Sarah and Shannon's blogs, I knew I had to do it too. However, I was a little concerned that my husband wouldn't want to cooperate. He doesn't like doing anything that might end up on the blog. Ha ha.

But he did it. Now, did he take it seriously? Not necessarily.

Did he do well? Not at all.

But it sure gave me a good laugh.

The questions are in black. My answers are in purple. Dave’s answers are in red. And general commentary is in blue. Enjoy!

How long have you been married?  
8 years.          

Too long. 8 years.

Where was your first date?   
Mancino’s.     

No idea. Mancino’s?

Where was your first kiss?    
At the movies – bonus points that I remember the name of the movie: The Last Castle.   

In your basement? At the movie theater?

Who first said, "I love you"?
He totally did. It was my policy not to say it first.     

She did.

What were your wedding colors?
Cranberry, white, and silver.

Some purple color. And my vest was silver.  

Wow, Dave. You are really terrible at this.

What is her most commonly used phrase? 
Your mom.

Your mom.     

Yes, I am 15 years old.

Who is her celebrity crush? 

I don’t think I have one, really.

I don’t know.

If she was ordering drinks for both of you what would you each get?   

Pepsi for me, Mountain Dew for him. We don’t generally drink alcohol. But I also haven’t pop since I found out I was pregnant with Leland. I do long for a Pepsi.

Pepsi for her, Mountain Dew for me.

What is the best meal she has ever cooked you?   

Lasagna  

Lasagna

What is the worst meal she has ever cooked you?  

Chicken Pot Pie. For the record, it was delicious, but Dave whined like a baby that it had peas in it.

Nasty chicken meal like 10 years ago.

Not the same meal.

What is the most-played song on her iPod?

I don’t have an iPod. I don’t even have music on my iPhone. I usually listen to Pandora, and my latest fave station is 90s Hip Hop.

Some dumb country song.


What would she say is your most annoying habit?

Honestly, that’s hard to pinpoint. He does some seriously annoying shit.

Me. I’m just annoying.

What is the last thing she does before she goes to bed?  

I don’t think I really do anything special. I pee. I brush my teeth. I kiss Dave goodnight and I go to sleep.

Masturbate.  

My husband is a freak. Seriously.

If you could throw out one item of her clothing what would it be?  

I would say either all of my sweatshirts. Or all of my bras. Or…maybe all of my clothing.

All her shirts.


What would you say is your favorite thing about her?

My boobs.      

Her boobs.


What's her go-to drink at Starbucks? 

I don’t drink coffee.   

Ummmm….we don’t go to Starbucks.

What's her blog's name?
Living Our Love Song

Keeping Up with the Nowaks

Ha! My friend’s blog is Keeping Up with the Kowalskis (or it used to be). He was totally just throwing out something random here.

Love Dare: Week Four

Day 22: Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Sat to them today in words similar to these, "I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return."

Dave loves me in return; I don't ever have to worry about that. Sometimes I think he even loves me more than I love him, because when we fight (like really fight), and I want to give up, he reminds me that marriage can be hard but that it's worth fighting for. Sometimes, our marriage is wonderful. Sometimes, it's not. Sometimes, I am so grateful to have him. And sometimes, I want him to just go away and never come back. Not kidding. In those moments, I have to remind myself that love is a choice, and I make the choice to love him. On this day, I told Dave I loved him. I meant it. I made sure he knew I meant it. I showed him that I am here and will be here even in the hardest of times. I'm not giving up. Ever.

Day 23: Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that's stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.

I spend entirely too much time on the computer. Once Leland goes to bed, I am pretty much on it until I go to bed - playing games or checking facebook. Sometimes, I put facebook before my husband. I know how lame this sounds. Sometimes, I would just rather chat with a friend or co-worker who understands my job and motherhood than listen to Dave talk about work. But that's not fair to Dave. I'm supposed to be his person. I'm supposed to be the one he can talk to. So, I am definitely cutting back on my facebook time.

Day 24: Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed - today- and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.

I don't really think today's chapter pertains to me. In general, I think this book is geared toward relationships that are on the brink of divorce. That's not really us. I started this as a way to rekindle or remind us both of how important we are to each other, because it's easy to forget in the day-to-day grind. So, this chapter, while a good reminder for me, isn't really a "dare" for me.

Day 25: Whatever you haven't forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to "forgive our debts" each day, we must ask Him to help us "forgive our debtors." Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison for too long. Say from your heart, "I choose to forgive."

As simple as this seems, forgiveness isn't just saying you forgive someone. You really have to work to not let whatever it is come between you and your spouse again. There are things that I have "forgiven" Dave for, but in my head, I still punish him. And in arguments, I still punish him. That's not forgiveness. It's something I need to work on.

Day 26: Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God's forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.

In recent arguments, I have said and thought some terrible things. Things that I would never want anyone to know about, because I am embarrassed to have said/thought them. I was being immature and selfish. I can't take back what I have said/thought, but I can ask God and my husband for forgiveness. And whatever Dave says to me, I need to accept as how he is thinking/feeling and not respond with more immaturity and selfishness.

Day 27: Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you'll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.

This is a tough one. I am the queen of unrealistic expectations. One in particular is our house. We bought our house when I was 20 years old and Dave was 23. It was the perfect house for us and we loved it. Over the years, especially since having Leland, our house has lots its luster for me. It's a fairly small house. I mean, it's big enough for us now, but I sincerely can't see fitting another child (or two) in it.

It has always been our plan that we would build a house someday (By we, I completely mean Dave. I won't be doing much of the work.). And in the past, we have been fortunate enough to have not only have enough money, but extra money to put in savings. We were great savers. I thought we would be able to build our house with no problem. But then about two years ago, we came into some unfortunate circumstances which made saving money difficult. Then we had Leland and the cost of daycare and health care takes pretty much all of our extra money. So we haven't saved in a while.

Right now, we are broke. As broke as we've ever been. I know we are broke. But I still have unrealistic expectations about building a house...soon. It's not going to happen anytime soon. I know that. I like to dream. But when I dream, it totally stresses Dave out. He wants me to be happy, and our family to be comfortable and have the things we want. But we can't right now, and that freaks him out. And when we do build, there are ideas in my head that I know Dave will throw out the window because they are unrealistic. I think I need to calm down and realize that people live in smaller houses than ours, with more kids than we will have, and things are just fine. This isn't a fairy tale. It's real life. Sometimes those two match up, and sometimes they don't.

Day 28: What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.

I couldn't think of anything major. Dave has plenty of needs, but none that I can meet. I can't magically make money appear. I can't fix the running board on his truck. I can't keep the house immaculately clean (we have a one year old, for crying out loud!). But today we had a snow day. My husband doesn't get those. He still has to get up at 6:00am and get ready for work. He has to pack his lunch and eat something for breakfast if he has time. Well, today, I made his lunch for him. And I made him breakfast. So all he had to worry about was getting out the door really. It wasn't a huge task on my part, nor a huge need fulfilled for him, but it was something.

When I Get Angry...

When I get angry, like really angry, I like to be alone. I find a quiet place to just be by myself. I don't want to watch TV. I don't want to listen to music. I don't want to use the computer or play a game on my phone. I just want to sit and think. But...I hate doing nothing, so do you know what I do?

I clean and organize.

I have just recently become aware of this pattern. Dave and I got into an argument a few weeks ago, and it was basically about how messy the house is, and how he wishes I would take care of things better. I hate when he criticizes my neatness because 1. I have never claimed to be a neat and orderly person. I like things in their places, but I am terrible at finding places for new things. And 2. I am a busy woman. I work 45-50 hours a week. I make all the dinners. I do the majority of work when it comes to Leland {packing his bag, making sure he has diapers/wipes/food, laundry, etc.}. So if the house isn't perfect, I don't really care. I spend my "extra" time playing with Leland.

So anyway, we were having this argument and I was pissed. Like, super pissed. So I went into our office/Leland's play room and I closed the door {Leland was in bed for the night}. I sat there fuming/pouting for a few minutes before I started to clean up Leland's toys. Then I started to organize my desk. Before I knew it, the whole room was clean and I felt better. Except I then got pissed at myself for doing exactly what Dave wanted. Damn it! 

And a few days ago, I was super mad about something else {I don't remember what it was. I don't even remember if it involved Dave or something else.} and I started to clean the kitchen!

Is this a terrible habit to have? No. It's actually kind of nice. I have that time to think and be angry, but I get something done at the same time. But I really hate when it coincides with an argument with my husband about cleaning. I'd hate for him to get the impression that he is right. Ever.

Homemade Play Dough...

When I was a kid, my mom had a home daycare. We used to make play dough pretty frequently, which involved boiling water, so the kids couldn't always help.

A few years ago, when I worked at a daycare, I stumbled upon this recipe for microwave play dough. It was super easy and fast, and was a lot more kid-friendly. I don't remember where I got it from, but I've been using it ever since. I used it when I taught preschool; I used it at summer camp; I used it as a math lesson on measuring once. And most recently, I used it in my classroom for a Valentine's Day fun activity. It was nice to have a non-sugar activity to do with the kiddos, and they were way more excited about than I thought they would be. Wahoo!

I figured I would share it on the ole blog for anyone who has little ones that might enjoy making (and then playing with) homemade play dough. (P.S. I like that with this recipe, if it gets licked/eaten, it's really not terrible. It won't taste good, but at least there aren't weird chemicals in it.)

What you need:

• 1 Cup flou
• 1 Cup water
• 1/2 Cup salt
• 2 tsp. cream of tartar (Contrary to the name, it is not cream. It's a powder that you can find in the spice aisle.)
• 1 Tbsp. cooking oil
• food coloring

What to do:

Mix all of the ingredients, except food coloring, together in a microwave safe bowl. Microwave for 1 minute. Stir. Microwave for 30 seconds. Continue this 30 second heating pattern until dough pulls away from sides of bowl and is no longer soupy. Knead until smooth.

Use gloves or a ziplock bag to mix in food coloring. It is hot, so be careful if children are mixing. You may want to let it cool for a few minutes before letting children mix the coloring.

I have known some people to add vanilla or peppermint extract for scent. And glitter. You can totally add glitter.

Store your play dough in a ziplock bag or air tight container. It will last for a long time. When it starts to get dry, just make another batch. :)

Enjoy your homemade (cheap) play dough, friends!

Love Dare: Week Three

If you have read week one and week two of my love dare, I'm sure you're wondering where in the heck week three is! Well, I actually completed week three a long time ago, but every time I sit down to blog about it, I realize the book is in the bedroom and I am too lazy to go get it. True story.

This week was heavy on spiritual growth and relying on God. I don't talk about my faith a lot, but I definitely have a strong faith in God. I firmly believe that He will provide for me; He will get me through the hard times; He will help me finish this love dare that I have started.


Day 15: Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her or putting away his laundry. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.

Sometimes, when Dave talks about his day, I sort of tune him out. I know that's terrible, but I really feel like I can only handle so much complaining about his foreman. However, I know that this isn't helpful to our relationship, and I know he has noticed. I'm sure it doesn't make him feel good that I only give him half of my attention when he's talking. So I made sure that I listened and gave him my full attention when he talked. Have I done this every day since? No, but I'm working on it.

Day 16: Begin praying today for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and your marriage.

Done. I prayed for God to show Dave the positive side of things more often. He tends to get stressed {usually about money} and it takes him over completely. He is, by nature, a fun person, but that doesn't come through when he's focused on the negative. I also prayed for Dave to appreciate me more. I know he does appreciate the things I do, but I think that he just expects them at this point and he doesn't realize how hard I work juggling school, Leland, our marriage, and our home. And finally, I just prayed for Dave and I both to communicate positively and take delight in each other.

Day 17: Determine to guard your mate's secrets and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts with you. Make them feel safe.

This chapter was about making sure your spouse feels safe in the relationship and not like they will be nagged for every single mistake. I, honestly, feel like I already do this. I am not one to judge him or get upset about mistakes. I know they happen {they happen most frequently by me}, and I don't dwell on them.

Day 18: Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for your and your mate.

For this, I actually made a special breakfast. Or two special breakfasts. It was Dave's birthday weekend and he had been asking me a lot lately to learn how to make Eggs Benedict. So I did. And then the next day, his actual birthday, I made him blueberry pancakes (his favorite).

Day 19: Look back over the dares from previous days. Were there some that seemed impossible? Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love?

Honestly, the hardest part for me is saying nothing negative. I'm not a negative person; I am actually a really, really positive person. I probably annoy people with my positive outlook sometimes. But my husband can be the most annoying person on the planet sometimes and I have a hard time not telling him that. I am working on it. If I don't say negative things about it, perhaps my views will change. Maybe I won't be so irritable. I don't know. But I have definitely been praying about it. Sometimes I feel like God is the only one that can make me bite my tongue.

Day 20: Dare to pray, "Lord Jesus, I'm a sinner. But You have shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and You have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart and save me by Your grace."

Day 21: Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day or reading a chapter in the Gospels. As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you.

I actually follow a page on facebooks that shares stories from Proverbs. This one was kind of easy.

10k Training...

I'm fairly certain I've mentioned before that I'm running a 10k (6.2 miles) in May. The most I have ever run is a 5k, and I'm a little nervous about doing a 10k, but I have paid the $35 so I guess I just have to suck it up and get to training!

I found a 10k training app on my phone that uses running/walking intervals to work your way up. The starting point (week 1 out of 13 weeks) is super easy - like run one minute, walk 5 minutes. I'm beyond that, so I decided to start on week 5. But even that was too easy with running 5 minutes and walking 3. I can run about 20-25 minutes straight without a problem. Then I get bored and try to speed up to get done with my miles and that's when I start to get too tired. During this workout, I was dancing during the walking intervals - yeah, dancing on the treadmill to my 90's Hip Hop. Ha ha...I'll let that visual sink in. ;)

I thought about moving on to week 8, where you run 15 minutes, walk 2, etc. and I may still do that. But I'm also going to look at other training apps. My friend, Courtney, who is a 7-time marathon runner, suggested a different method that has you run four days a week of different distances, so I'm going to check it out.

I have plenty of time, really. The race is at the end of May, but I want to be somewhat "good" at running a 10k by that point. I want to know that I can run the whole thing before the race starts.

But anyway, I did start running again this week. I was sort of using my treadmill as a scrapbook table for the last couple of weeks while I was working on a project for a friend. But now that the project is done, I have my treadmill back.

I got up at 4:45am yesterday and ran two miles. I could have run more, but Leland started waking up (unfortunately, the treadmill is right below his bedroom, so I think he heard the beeping of the machine). I didn't do it today though. I plan to run every other day, because it's important to give your body a rest. And it's really important for me to not get up that early every day. I was proud of myself for doing it though. Tomorrow, I will again and hopefully Leland sleeps through it.

Wish me luck getting up before the crack of dawn tomorrow!

Eleven Years...

Eleven years ago (also Super Bowl Sunday), a boy kissed a girl goodnight. This was not their first kiss, but it marked a special occasion. On this night, the boy asked the girl to "officially" be his girlfriend (no more of the "Are we? Aren't we?" stuff). 

At age 17, the girl knew there was something different and special about this relationship - this boy. She knew her life would never be the same. A few years later, the boy and girl were married. And way too many years after that, they had their first child. 

The girl was right - her life was never the same after that kiss goodnight. It was sometimes easier, sometimes harder. They fought - a lot. But they always made up. Sometimes life was more complicated, but it was always better, because they had each other.

Happy 11 years of togetherness, Husband! I'm so glad you kissed me goodnight all those years ago.