The Love Dare: Week Two

So, I sort of fell off the wagon with the Love Dare. After the first week, life got busy {report cards, Christmas and birthday preparations, etc.} and I didn't have time to read the chapters, or even just the dares, each day. But I am determined to do it, and I've now completed week two. I have to say, I may not finish this in 40 days...it may take longer, but I will finish it.

On the days when I couldn't read the book, I still worked hard not to say anything negative to Dave. It's not always possible, but that's why I know I need to work on it. During this time, I also tried to work on changing the three things that he said bothered him most about me. This way, I was still doing something, even though I wasn't doing the dares.

So, here's week two {which actually took a couple of weeks to complete}:

Day 8: To help set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take the list of negative attributes you created yesterday and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success they have recently enjoyed.

Say what? Burn the list?! But...but...okay. Well, I actually tore it up. Burning it would surely cause Dave to question what in the world I was doing, and remember, he doesn't know I'm doing this. So I tore up the list and instead of sharing about a success, I told him that I appreciate the hard work he does to provide for our family.

Day 9: Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

I used to work at a home daycare as an assistant, and I always loved that when the husband would come home every day, he would give his wife a kiss. It was the sweetest thing, but really just a small gesture. I think Dave and I used to do this; not necessarily every day, but certainly more often than we do now. Somewhere along the line, we've gotten lazy. So that day, I decided to kiss him and greet him with a smile when he walked in the door. Again, not a huge gesture, but certainly a pleasant way to come home, no?

Day 10: Do something out of the ordinary for your spouse today. Wash their car. Clean the kitchen. Buy their favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. 

Dave is a man who appreciates a neat and tidy home. I am a woman who tends to let things get messy and out of order. On this day, I tidied up the whole house. I cleaned the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen floor, vacuumed, dusted, did two loads of laundry {including folding - that never happens}, cleaned up all the Christmas decorations, and had dinner almost ready when he got home. I felt like a 1950s housewife, but I was proud to have gotten it all done so that he could relax at night and enjoy his clean home {except for the baby toys of course}.

Day 11: What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or a foot massage? Help with something around the house?

The next day was supposed to be trash day, and Dave is always complaining that he is the only one that handles the trash and recycling. So I made sure I took out the trash and organized the recycle so it would be ready to go the next day. He was pretty surprised and appreciated it. Then he asked if I would clean the litter boxes {a job he inherited when I got pregnant and I never took back}. Nice, Dave. ;)

Day 12: Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.

I made a dinner that I really don't enjoy for Dave's sake because he loves it.

Day 13: Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement {making rules like "We will not bring up divorce in an argument. We will not fight in public. Etc.}. If your spouse is not ready to do this, then write your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next argument arises.

I just did my own rules. It seems that if I create rules for myself and follow them, then Dave will likely follow suit, even if he doesn't know the rules.

1. Do not bring up old arguments/problems. They are in the past and should stay there.
2. Pick my battles; do not argue unless it is going to actually resolve a problem.
3. Do not yell or give in to anger.
4. Always make sure I am showing my love for him even in an argument.

Day 14: Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so that you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do. Just be together.

This bring us to today. After Leland goes to bed tonight, instead of sitting on my computer, watching TV, or playing with my phone, I will ask Dave to play a video game together. I will even play lame-o Black Ops 2 with him, because that's his favorite, and I will do it with a smile.

First Birthday Party...

Yesterday was Leland's first birthday party that I spent weeks {okay, months} planning and preparing for. Dave and I decided before Leland was even born that we were really only going to do a first birthday party, and every year after that, we would likely just have a simple gathering at our house with our parents for cake. So, since we're only having one party where we invite our whole families and a few friends, I wanted this one to be extra special. With limited funds, that wasn't going to be easy, but I think we managed to throw a nice party without spending too much.

Before I ever got pregnant, a friend and I made the joke that I was the turtle in the baby race. Everyone around me was having babies, and though I desperately wanted to, Dave wasn't there yet. So I waited - sometimes not very patiently - as the slowpoke in the race for babies. And ever since, I knew I wanted my baby's theme to be turtles. Leland's bedroom is frog and turtle themed and I wanted his birthday party to be that way too. So we had turtles and a lot of blue and green.

I made the invitations myself with the help of my Cricut, which saved quite a bit of money. And I actually liked the way they turned out better than any invitations I looked at online.

We had the party at a local church. Not our church, because ours charges too much to use their room. This church only charged $30 and it was big enough for our party.

I had one more table for people to eat at as well.

The food. We had BBQ pulled pork sandwiches, veggies, potato salad, chips & dip, and baked beans.

Other side of the food table.

My friend's mom makes really cool cakes for weddings, parties, etc. When I asked her if she could make a turtle cake, she asked me to send her some pictures of what I had in mind. I sent her a few and she recreated one. It was SO cool! I seriously cannot get over how awesome it was!

She also made an individual cake just for Leland to smash. How stinkin' adorable is this?!

I also made some turtle candies and some gluten-free cupcakes {I have a few family members and friends who do not eat gluten, so I wanted them to be able to enjoy some cake, too.}

I don't get fancy with decorating. Hey, you can have cute or you can have gluten! No gluten? No cute!

The desserts on my homemade cupcake stand.

When people arrived, we ate our lunches and talked a bit. And of course took pictures!

My friend, Kristina, was home from West Virginia and helped so much with decorating and cleaning up!

My mom

Such a stud.

Yeah, I'm just walking around. No big deal.

I wasn't really planning on opening gifts at the party because Leland isn't so great at opening them yet, but we had plenty of time, so we decided to do it.

Leland loved eating the paper and cards. Goofy kid.

Gift from Auntie Laura: a quilt.

It's quilted around the edges with owls, and then frogs, turtles, and snails throughout.

A new sippy cup! Such a joyful child.

After gifts, it was time for cake!

 Leland was way excited to dig into his cake.

And off with the turtle's head!

Om nom nom!

Successful cake smash!

Overall, I would say we had a successful first birthday party for our wee man. I'm pretty proud of my party planning efforts if I do say so myself. Although I think the cake was pretty much the hit of the party - everyone was talking about how cool it was. Julie has some serious skills!

Twelve Months...

Dear Leland James,

Today is December 28, 2012 and you are ONE.YEAR.OLD! One year ago, I first saw you, first held you, first kissed you, first breathed your sweet scent. I remember it so vividly that it doesn’t seem like so long ago. I cannot believe how fast this past year has gone. It has been, by far, the most amazing and beautiful 12 months of my life. I have never been happier than I have in the last year; I am never happier than when I am looking at your sweet face.

He would not sit still for pictures this month!

Here is what you have been up to in the last month:

In last month’s letter, I wrote that you had your first ear infection. As it turns out, that ear infection lasted well into this month. You had two rounds of oral antibiotics that did absolutely nothing, so you had to get shots or Rocephin – three times. Ugh…it was the saddest thing in the world; to not only see you suffer from your ear infection, but to then make you get three shots over the course of a week to clear it up! I hope we never have to go through with that again.

This month's photo theme was "Attack the bear!"

This month, we started transitioning you to milk. You’re doing pretty well with it, but with your ear infection, you weren’t too interested in bottles. You’re doing better with them now, and I would say that within the next few weeks, you’ll be on only milk in your bottles. You still nurse before bed and when you first wake up in the morning, so we’ll continue that for a while longer.

You usually take three bottles a day {one before each nap and one after your afternoon snack} and, like I said, at bedtime and upon waking. At mealtimes and throughout the day, I give you water in your sippy cup. You love your sippy cup! I think the transition from the bottle won't be too difficult, but we're not really starting that yet. I still give you some pureed food, but you mostly eat whatever we are eating these days. You love any kind of pasta, especially if it has tomato sauce. You also love blueberries and grilled cheese!

A few weeks ago, you took your first steps! You practice and get better and better each day. You crawl when you want to get somewhere fast, but you prefer standing and walking as much as possible. Dr. Olson was very impressed with your balance with standing and walking today. He was surprised that you could stand and look up at him or drink from your sippy cup without falling.

This week, you have blessed me immensely by starting to sleep better at night. On Christmas Eve, you slept 12 hours straight! Since then, every night except for one, you have slept at least 10 hours. It is SO nice. Part of this might be because you're not napping quite as long, but I think I prefer the night-time sleeping! You were on a decent routine before where you would sleep about 9 hours a night, but with your ear infection, we got into a pretty bad sleep routine where you were up three or more times a night. I'm thankful that's done. Don't get me wrong, I love all my time with you, but I feel much better now that we're both getting enough sleep at night!

You say “mama,” but that’s pretty much the only word you say. You babble other things {gaga, baba}, but mama is pretty consistently directed toward me. Daddy doesn’t believe that; he is not-so-patiently waiting for you to say “dada.” Oh, and I swear you said “hi” to someone at the store last week, but that’s the only time I’ve ever heard it, so who knows.

This month, just a few days ago, we celebrated your first Christmas! You liked opening presents, but mostly wanted to eat the paper. You got a few toys and some pajamas for Christmas, and while you enjoy playing with them, you still enjoy playing all sorts of things that you shouldn’t play with. You want to play with dishes and silverware all the time.

He loves his baskets!

You also visited Santa at the mall this month. You did great sitting on his lap. You studied his face for a bit; I think you liked his beard. And then you looked right at me for a picture. You’re such a big boy.

At your well-check today, you weighed 22.5 lbs and measured 30.75” tall. This puts you in the 67^th percentile for weight and 90^th percentile for height. This blows my mind, because 11 months ago, at your one-month well-check, you were in the 3^rd percentile. THIRD! You have grown by leaps and bounds, my not-so-little munchkin!

I noticed at your appointment today that you have another tooth! I don't know when that one made its way through, but one of the bottom ones next to the middle {one of your bottom "fang" teeth"}.

Dude likes to play with/chew on lotion bottles. Goof.

You have a few little games that you like to play with me. In the morning when you wake up, you talk and talk in your crib. When I go into to your room to get you, you hide under your blanket and giggle at me. It’s the cutest, sweetest thing and the absolute BEST way to start my day! You also like when I chase you. I crawl behind you and say, “I’m gonna get you!” And you laugh and crawl away as fast as you can. It’s adorable, really.

Your birthday party is tomorrow. We invited our families and a few friends and I can’t wait to celebrate you and your first year.

Okay, Bear, you're going down!

Ha ha ha...gotcha!

Last night, we read the story “On the Night You Were Born” by Nancy Tillman, as we have read so many times before. But I couldn’t help getting a little emotional about it this time, remembering the night you were born and those days that followed in the NICU. I read this story to you many times while we snuggled in our little “fort” in the NICU.

Heaven blew every trumpet

And played every horn

On the wonderful, marvelous

Night you were born.

You are most certainly a precious gift from Heaven. I am so blessed to be your mommy. You are my heart and my sunshine. I love you more than I could ever put into words, but I hope with these monthly letters, I can come to close to explaining to you how much you are cherished.

Chewing on the lotion and contemplating round 2 with the bear.

I love to the moon and back. A gazillion times. I hope you always know that, sweet baby.

Love,

Mama

Leland's First Christmas...

Leland's first Christmas started out with a wonderful gift for me...he slept TWELVE HOURS straight! Leland has never been the best night-time sleeper. The most he has slept without waking was 10 hours and that was only once. Nine hours is more common, but in the last month, with an ear infection from you-know-where, he has slept terribly. So twelve hours straight was AMAZING!

Once he woke up, we hung out for a bit and waited for Daddy to wake up. I made some homemade cream cheese danishes for breakfast. Leland had oatmeal, yogurt, and a few bites of my danish. 

After breakfast, it was time for presents. I already shared what Leland's presents were in this post, but here are a few pictures of gift opening.

But first, pictures taken a couple days earlier in front of the tree.

 I know I need a tree skirt. The one we had made a big mess with glitter so I threw it out.

And now gift opening Christmas morning...

We had a great first Christmas, and now we look forward to Leland's first birthday {TOMORROW!} and birthday party on Saturday.