Birth Story...

Warning: Any story of child birth is going to involve some discussion of any or all of the following topic: blood, vaginas, urination, bowel movements, and many other "not so pretty" things. If you don't want to read about this, I suggest you move on to another blog.

Monday, December 26^th

So many funny little things happened and went through my mind on Monday before I knew anything exciting was going to happen. Life sure is interesting sometimes.

I spent much of the day Monday running errands. I had heard that Target had a lot of baby stuff on clearance, so I went to check it out. I was thrilled to find so many baby necessities on clearance, not just sale. I took their whole stock of Born Free bottles and nipples, because I never got any for my showers, and I thought clearance is the best time to buy! I also got many other items.

While looking at some baby outfits, I picked out one newborn outfit and one 0-3 months. I really wasn’t sure what size to get. Then I looked at the weights listed on the tag and thought There’s no way my kid is going to be 5-8 pounds. I might as well just get the 0-3 month size. Then I saw some cute little onesies on clearance and thought I would grab them {because we really didn’t get many clothes for our showers either}, but I saw that one of the ones in the pack said “Born in 2011.” Obviously, I didn’t get it – my kid was coming in 2012!

At Sweet Pea, a baby store in Traverse City, I used a gift certificate to buy a Bundle Me and infant head rest for our car seat.

I also did some grocery shopping and several other errands. While out and about, I saw about a million people I knew and stopped to chat, so it was a long day. When I got home, I made dinner and was all set to relax on the couch. Don’t all exciting stories start out with people just sitting around doing nothing? Well, this is no exception.

Dave and I were watching TV, relaxing on the couch when the phone rang. I got up to answer. It was Dave’s friend, James, so I handed Dave the phone and went back to sit down. When I sat down, I felt a tiny gush of fluid, and I thought it was just some vaginal discharge. I went to the bathroom – not much came out, so I just changed my underwear. While I was changing, my sister, Jan, called my cell phone. When I was finished, I called her back (Dave was still on the home phone with James). While on the phone with her, I felt another small gush, and thought it was weird, but no big deal. Then I went to sit back down on the couch and I felt a rush of warm liquid in my underwear. I knew this wasn’t pee and I knew it wasn’t good.

I interrupted my sister with, “Uh, Jan, I gotta go! I think my water is breaking.”

She sounded nervous, but tried to be calm and keep me calm, saying, “It’s ok, you probably just peed.” I knew I didn’t pee.

I hung up the phone and said to Dave, “My water is breaking!”

He looked at me like I was crazy or just paranoid, and said, “Are you sure you didn’t just pee?” I didn’t want to be all frantic and crazy. I was actually quite calm, and said, “No, I did not just pee.  My water broke.”

So, Dave hung up the phone and I didn’t know what to do. Do I call 911? Do I call the hospital? I didn’t know the switchboard number (okay, I knew, but I didn’t know if it was the same number as it was a few years ago when Dave broke his foot). So I called my OB office, which said which number to call to have a doctor paged.

My doctor was not on call, which bummed me out, but when I heard that Dr. Bump was on call, I was relieved. My friend, Corinn, thinks he is the most amazing doctor ever; he delivered her two boys and she loves him. And I had at least met him once, so it made me feel better.

Dr. Bump was paged and called me back. I explained what happened and he said it sounded like my water broke (no crap), and that I should head to the hospital. So we did. The whole time we were driving, I was terrified. I didn’t know if this meant the baby was coming now or if they would stop labor. I didn’t know if my baby would be ok at 34 weeks. Then I realized that I hadn’t felt the baby move in the last couple of hours and I worried that he died. But then, he did move, and I felt a little better.

When we got to the hospital, we were sent to maternity triage and they had to run some tests to see if my water broke. While we waited for the tests, we talked with the nurse and asked her what we should expect if it was my water. She said that I would be in the hospital until the baby was born, but that it might not be right away. She said it could be one to two weeks. Dave and I were shocked. We could not believe that they would just have me sitting in the hospital for two weeks with a ruptured water sack. More on that later…

It was determined (DUH!) that my water broke and I was admitted to maternity.  I was hooked up to fetal monitors and given an antibiotic to avoid infection from my water breaking. (There went my hopes of having a natural, med-free labor, but I really didn’t care that much.) They also gave me a steroid shot to help the baby’s lungs mature before birth.

At that point, it was like 11:00-ish Monday night and we were pretty much just hanging out, waiting for contractions to start.

Tuesday, December 27^th

At about 1:00am, I started having contractions. They weren’t bad, but they made sleep difficult. I had them fairly regularly, but they weren’t very strong. I had them all night and in the morning, Dr. Bump came to check on me. Since I had been contracting for a few hours, he decided to see how much I was dilated. We were all surprised and disappointed to learn that I was not dilated at all. And let me just say that that exam is the most painful experience on this Earth when you’re not dilated. I cried. A lot.

He decided to give me Cytotec at around 10:00am, which is a small pill placed on the cervix to soften it and hopefully get me dilated, and he said he would recheck me in four hours. I continued to have contractions.

At 2:00pm, Dr. Bump came to check on me. He said he could just give me Pitocin if I wanted, but I was curious how much I was dilated, so I declined the Pitocin. He checked me again, and it again was incredibly painful. At this point, I was almost dilated to 1. Ugh. So Dr. Bump gave me more Cytotec and said he would check me again at 5:00. At 5:00, I was dilated to almost 2. I was still having contractions on my own, but they weren’t very strong and not quite regular, so Dr. Bump and I decided to start Pitocin.

The Pitocin definitely sped up the process. I started contracting very regularly and they were pretty strong. I have to say that I think I handled them really well. I was calm and just breathed through them. I moved around and changed positions quite a bit because I was having a lot of back labor (which I was later told was because my uterus is far back, not necessarily because the baby was posterior). I used the birthing ball and that helped a lot. Not even kidding, I was enjoying labor. I loved that I was in the process of bringing my baby into the world. It did hurt, but I loved it.

By 8:00, I was having some really big contractions. They were long with very little break in between, and I was getting excited. This meant the baby was coming soon! Then they got even worse and I started to lose my excitement. I was exhausted (I had been in labor for over 24 hours, hadn’t slept since Monday morning, and I just wanted to see my baby). But I kept working through the contractions. At about 10:00pm, I was in agony. My contractions were like 2-3 minutes long with only about 15 seconds between them. I really, honestly couldn’t imagine the pain getting any worse or lasting much longer. I knew that Leland had to be coming soon. I had to be ready to push.

A nurse came to check my cervix and said…get this, “You’re dilated to 1. But it’s a good 1!”

I lost it. ONE?! I WAS STILL AT A FREAKING ONE?! I promise you there is no such thing as a “good 1” when you’ve been contracting for that long. I wanted to die. It was at that moment that I realized Leland was not coming soon. I would be doing this for several more hours at least. Dr. Bump said the earliest he could imagine him coming was 3:00am, but that it could still be much longer than that.

That was the first time throughout the entire process that I considered getting an epidural. It was at this time that I realized my body was just too tired to go through this for several more hours and then push on top of that. There was just no way. Plus, I was starting to think I will never do this again. I hate this. When will this be over? I didn’t like thinking those thoughts. It made me sad. I wanted to enjoy this process. So I decided to get the epidural. I have to say that I could have continued without pain meds if : (1) I wasn’t so tired from not sleeping and/or (2) I knew there was an end within a couple of hours.

It took an hour for me to get the fluid through my IV (My IV was the biggest piece of crap in the world. It kept getting kinked and not letting the meds through and it was in a really awkward place so I could barely use my left arm.) and for the anesthesiologist to get to my room.

The epidural was like magic. I suddenly didn’t feel any contractions, but I could still feel the rectal pressure. I was able to enjoy the process again. I was also able to sleep/rest a little. After that, things progressed pretty quickly. I am thankful I took it because I don't think I would have had the energy to push without the rest that it gave me. Not to mention just making it to the pushing. Dave was exhausted too because everytime I had a contraction, he would rub or put pressure on my lower back to ease my pain. It was so helpful, but can you imagine rubbing someone's back (with a good amount of pressure) for several hours with only 15 second breaks every few minutes? The epidural gave us both some time to rest and relax.

Wednesday, December 28^th

I was feeling more and more pressure, and then the pressure became painful. Then I had to go to the bathroom (So freaking many fluids made me have to pee, like, all the time. And every time I got up to pee, I would have SERIOUS contractions.). I went to the bathroom, but couldn’t pee. I just sat on the toilet and whimpered and my nurse came in and asked how I was doing. I started crying because of the pain (at this point I thought I had to poop, but couldn’t), and she said they should check me again. Well, as it turns out, I was FINALLY ready to start pushing!

At 2:45am, I started pushing. I didn’t really know what to do, because I hadn’t had my birthing class yet. I was supposed to take it in a few weeks. My nurse was awesome though. She calmly talked me through the first couple of contractions and explained what to do. She did this between contractions, which was helpful because that was when I was calm and could really listen.

Dr. Bump came in after my first few pushes. I have to say that I wasn’t thrilled with Dr. Bump during this phase. Maybe he didn’t realize that I hadn’t had a birthing class. Or maybe he just didn’t want to be at the hospital that night. But he was just really short with me and seemed annoyed. Dave noticed it too.

During my pushes, he told me I was doing it wrong (uh…I’ve never done this before and I haven’t had my class yet). He kept saying “bear down,” but I didn’t know what that meant. Once, he even said, “Are you going to push?” I was confused and said, “I’m not having a contraction right now. I thought I wasn’t supposed to.” To which he responded, in an unfavorable tone, “Well, you’ve been having contractions every two minutes. It’s been two minutes.”

He just seemed very uninterested in helping me deliver my baby. I wanted my nurse back. Now, I’m not saying he wasn’t a good doctor. He did his job and reminded me over and over that the baby was ok. I just didn’t like his bedside manner. Hopefully next time I can have my own doctor.

Then, once the head was out, I really didn’t know what to do. My contraction was over, but Dr. Bump told me to keep pushing. When I did, he told me “easy, easy,” which I understand now, but in the middle of labor, made no sense to me. It would have been really nice to have had a birthing class. Thankfully, I have enough friends and family members with babies, and have taken enough child development classes, that I knew mostly how it was supposed to go. But a class would have been great.

After 40 minutes of pushing, Leland was born. If I recall correctly, I hadn’t said anything pretty much the whole time I pushed, but the second he was out, I said something to the effect of “Oh, God.”

They placed him on my stomach for a minute while Dave cut the cord. Then they carried him off to the warming bed to check him. During this time, I couldn’t see him – too many nurses were in the way and Dr. Bump was stitching me (I needed one stitch) – but, boy, could I hear him! He was screaming.

Dave was watching them check him out, and apparently thought he saw a worried look on one of the nurses’ faces. When they finally brought Leland to me all wrapped up, Dave said, “I have to sit down. I’m feeling light-headed.” I didn’t know what was going on, but later Dave told me that he thought they were going to say something was wrong with Leland and he panicked and got a little dizzy. A nurse brought him some orange juice and he recuperated while I held Leland for a minute.

(By the way, Leland totally stopped crying the second I touched him. We go way back, you know.)

Once Dave felt a little better, he got to hold Leland for just a minute. My mom took his picture, but he was still pretty pale from nearly fainting.

As they were taking Leland away, they asked if we planned on circumcising. Dave and I hadn’t come to an agreement yet. There are a lot of things that we thought we had a few weeks left to talk about, like circumcision, a middle name, vaccinations, etc. We had to make some pretty quick decisions. I was pretty stuck in my decision about circumcision and Dave was going back and forth, not necessarily convinced one way or the other. I told them that we weren’t sure yet, and then Dave said, “No, we’re not going to.” Thank you, God! I could not stand the thought of anyone cutting my brand new baby and putting him in pain; it’s bad enough seeing the poke his little feet for his blood sugar tests.

They told me we could go see Leland in two hours, so they had me take a shower and get some food. At 5:30, they wheeled me down to the NICU to see my baby. We were allowed to touch him in the isolette, but we couldn’t stroke him or take him out. We couldn’t stay long because they wanted us both to rest, so we had to go back to our room and were able to go back down to the NICU after lunch. I didn’t get to hold him until 5:00. It seriously felt like it had been weeks since I had held him, not just over 12 hours.

Since then, we slowly get to do more with him. I was able to hold him twice that night for over two hours total. And the next day I started nursing and bottle feeding him. I also got to change a few diapers (hard to do with all those wires and in a confined space like the isolette) and help them weigh him. Dave didn’t get to hold him as much, but he could touch him and see him all the time. On Thursday though, Dave was able to hold him, and he was in HEAVEN.

On Wednesday and Thursday nights, Dave went home to sleep. He was just not able to sleep on the cot in my room. Imagine a 6’6” man trying to sleep on a cot that’s probably not even 6 feet long. He left the hospital at 11:00 each night and was back at 7:45 in the morning so he wouldn’t miss a moment with our boy (no one is allowed in the NICU from 7:00-8:00 so they can assess the babies and do shift changes).

We have been told different things by different nurses about when Leland may get to be discharged. One nurse said probably 10-14 days. Another nurse said at least two weeks. It’s hard to hear that because, he is doing amazing with feeding, maintaining his blood sugar, etc. I have to remind myself that he’s still only 34 weeks, so it may not be as soon as we would like.

Leland is such a little miracle. I am amazed at how well he is doing and so are all of the NICU doctors and nurses. Everyone is so impressed with his progress. We’re just praying he keeps it up so he can come home soon.

Dave as Daddy...

It is no secret that my husband is nervous around babies. He's not familiar with them, hasn't been around them much in his life, and tends to keep his distance if he has the choice. It's not that he doesn't like them or think they are adorable; he's just not comfortable around them.

I have always known that he would behave differently when it was his own child. But I never expected what I am seeing.

Dave is such a doting father to our precious little one. He wants to be near him, wants to see him, wants to touch him all the time. We haven't really been able to hold him much, and when we do get a chance, it's usually me that gets to because Leland and I both need that skin-to-skin contact. Dave is very understanding of this, but the whole time I hold Leland, Dave just stares at him and strokes his hair and his back. He doesn't want to leave Leland's side if he can help it. He just can't get enough of him. He talks so softly {which is a nice change for me, as Dave is usually quite loud}, and he is so gentle.

Dave, who never ever picks up a camera, has been snapping pictures of Leland every chance he gets. He wanted to get one on his phone, but it was too dark, so he asked my sister to send him one that she got so that he can show people.


I always knew Dave would be a great dad. I don't know if Dave knew that {maybe that's why he wanted to wait so long}, but he is just amazing.


It is the coolest thing, in all honesty, to watch Dave - the man I love - love our son. Leland is a lucky, lucky boy.

Introducing...

Leland James Nowak...

Minutes old, being checked by the nurses



Born December 28th, 2011 at 3:27am...

We were both being cry babies. However, he stopped crying long before I did.

P.S. Red cheeks are from an allergic reaction to some meds...awesome!

Weighing 5 pounds, 7 ounces and measuring 18 inches long...

Dave holding him for the first time.

P.S. Dave's ghostly pale face DOES have an explanation, which I will share in my birth story later.

To the proud parents, Dave and Renee!

Leland is in the NICU, but is doing really well and is surpassing all expectations for a child born so early. It honestly is amazing to everyone how well he is doing.

In his isolette in the NICU. About two hours old.

I will update more when I have time {and have gotten some sleep}.

Such a sweet little peanut - and check out all that blonde hair!

I will also share his birth story as well, which may take some time, as it is a long one. {Remember my water broke on the 26th? Yeah, long time.}

The most precious face I have ever seen. I just can't get enough!

In the meantime, enjoy some snapshots of the most amazing gift I have ever been blessed to receive.

I wish I could just hold him like this all day long. It is amazing what some skin-to-skin with your newborn will do for your soul.

"For this child I have prayed, and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart." 1 Samuel 1:27







Pregnancy: 34 weeks...

Every week, I start a list of things to put in my pregnancy journal so I don't forget. It's just a bulleted list and then I sit down on Monday or Tuesday and elaborate. This week, this is what you're getting....

12.27.11 – 34 weeks

-stretch marks {I have more of them}

-baby wise book {I read the book On Becoming Babywise the other day. Great book for all expectant mommies.}

-weight gain {about 23-25 pounds so far} 

-maternity clothes {Shirts are getting too short. Elastic on pants is getting a little snug.}

That was all I had. Until today.

-water broke

My water broke around 6:30pm Monday night, so I am now in the hospital awaiting my little man's arrival. I started having contractions a couple of hours ago, but they're quite mild, so we may have a long way to go still.

The doctors say not to be worried and that the baby looks great. It's hard not to worry, but I trust my doctor completely and I know that it is all in God's hands. I am asking for prayers though that our sweet boy is born healthy with few or no complications.

I'll let y'all know how it goes!

Annoyance (where I'm a bitch on facebook)...

I am on Christmas break for the next 11 days! Wahoo!

Now, I love my job. Love, love LOVE! But it is hard getting up at 5:30 everyday and going, going, going nonstop. It's exhausting sometimes, especially near holidays when kids can get unfocused and it starts to feel like I'm herding cats. Still fun, still rewarding, but very tiring.

This morning, I posted on my facebook, "Sleeping until 8am equals bliss. PURE BLISS!" It was so nice to sleep later than 5:30 {even with about a million bathroom trips}. For the first time in weeks, I woke up feeling rested and ready for the day. And I was kind of excited to share that with my facebook friends.

That's not my annoyance though. That's just the intro. Here's the annoyance...

After I posted that, I get the completely unoriginal, somewhat negative, incredibly annoying "Enjoy it while it lasts" comment.

UGH! Seriously, people? What the crap? I can't say something on my facebook without it turning into a "mom" comment. You really have to TELL me that I won't be getting much sleep in the coming weeks? As if I wasn't aware? I HATE the "I'm a mom and you're not, so let me tell you how it is" comments. So annoying.

First of all, yes, I know babies/children cause parents to lose sleep. However, I also know that for six weeks of that, I won't be going to work on top of losing sleep, so I think it will somewhat even out. Not completely; I know I'll still be exhausted, but I won't have to go to work exhausted.

Second of all, when I am up in the middle of the night with a screaming child, at least I will be up in the middle of the night WITH MY CHILD! I will have a child! Yes, I will still be exhausted. No, it won't always be fun. But, I will have the MOST AMAZING reason in the world to be exhausted.

I usually try to ignore these comments from others, but today I was just so irritated. I responded with, "How original. Never heard that one before." I knew that this was pretty bitchy, even for me, so I ended it with a winky smily face to lighten it up a little. I'm not looking to piss anyone off {because I give a crap about whether or not I'm saying something ridiculous on facebook - who wants to be that person?}. Honestly, my comment is far less bitchy than what I was thinking in my head.

Anyway, that was how I started my Christmas break. I think perhaps I should go back to bed and start again in an hour or two. Hey, I got nothin' but time right now.

Happy Christmas break to me! And to you, if you're lucky enough to have one as well.

So, I'm kind of famous...

My friend and her husband recently opened a new physical therapy facility and asked me to be in their commercial. Melissa's exact words were that they were in need of a "cute pregnant lady." I told her that I could promise pregnant, and I'd do my best on the cute.

So I filmed my part of the commercial about two weeks ago and it started airing on local TV stations this week. For those of you who live in Northern Michigan, you can see it on 7&4 and 29&8 early in the mornings {I think between 6:00 and 7:00}.

But in case you're not local or you're not watching the news that early, I thought I'd share it on the old blog. I'm in the beginning of the video in three different shots doing stretches with one of the physical therapists.

So, yeah, I'm kind of a big deal now. I'll have to check with my agent about signing autographs.

Kids and Gifts...

One of my students approached me the other day and told me, "We're getting you a present for Christmas."

I don't like to make a big deal about presents in front of my students {not everyone can get their teacher a gift, and I don't want any of my students to feel bad if they can't}, so I said, "Oh, you are? Well, that's very kind of you."

With a sheepish grin, he said, "It's for your baby, but I can't tell you what it is."

I smiled and told him that I look forward to the surprise.

He walked away and returned about 45 seconds later and asked, "Does your baby have mittens yet?"

I told him not yet, and he replied, "Okay, good!"

Ha ha...kids are so cute.

Pregnancy: 33 weeks...

12.19.11 – 33 weeks

Besides craving sweets, I am still loving fruits and salad. Funny thing, I’m not really much of a pineapple eater; I like it, but I’ve never actually bought pineapple in my life. Eating it once in a while when it’s on a fruit tray is good enough for me. But this weekend, when we were grocery shopping, for some reason pineapple sounded really good, so I bought some. Dave gave me the weirdest look {because he’s never seen me buy pineapple before}, but didn’t say anything.

This past weekend, I had waffles for breakfast instead of my latest usual yogurt with granola and fruit, and I started feeling funny. I was short of breath and felt sort of dizzy. One of the doctors a few weeks ago said that it’s probably my blood sugar dropping, but I think what I was feeling was high blood sugar, because I didn’t feel hungry and it went away after a while {whereas with low blood sugar, it doesn’t go away until you eat something to bring your sugar back up}. No more waffles on the weekends, I guess.

A few days ago, Dave said, “Oh my gosh. We’re gonna have a baby in six weeks.” I said, “Honey, probably more like seven, or maybe even eight.” His response: “It’s the same thing. Holy crap!” Ha ha.

Leland is a big mover these days! He rolls around constantly, except whenever Dave tries to feel him. Dave has only been able to feel him a couple of times. We have a stubborn boy on our hands!

A couple of people told me this week that I look like I’m dropping. I don’t know how anyone can tell, because I am carrying so low to begin with, but it makes me excited that things are really going to happen soon!

However, with things coming up so soon, I’m starting to get a little anxious that we will have everything on time. But this week, I got some great {and relieving} news that I may be getting a free breast pump from an organization called Healthy Futures. It’s not a “for sure” thing yet, but it’s looking good, which is such a load off my mind. That’s $280.00 that I don’t have to come up with right now. PHEW!

I have moments where I feel uncomfortable, but overall I feel pretty great. I get short of breath and tired, and getting comfy at night is difficult, but I still have pretty good energy and feel comfortable most of the time.

And just a cute story…today, Dave called me after school on my classroom phone {he never calls my classroom phone, but he did today}. When I answered, he pretended to be classroom parent and said in a serious tone, “Hello, this is Leland Nowak’s father.” It made me smile.

The countdown is on – SEVEN WEEKS to go!

Christmas Card...

I don't usually send out Christmas cards. Once in a while, I get in the mood to send something out, but it always feels a little boring. It's just a card with our names on it.

This year, with our sweet little blessing about to join our lives, I finally feel like there is a reason to send out a Christmas card, and I was excited to share our maternity pictures on them.

I didn't do very many cards - pretty much just to family and a few close friends. They were just so expensive, so I had to limit it.


Without further ado, I present the 2011 Christmas card from the Nowak family...

{I tried about 800 times to share our Christmas card from the shutterfly website, but it would only share the front. So, you'll have to settle for a picture of our card.}

August...

I recently learned that another one of my family members is expecting a baby. In case you haven't been following along, I have four siblings. Three of them, plus myself, are expecting babies. And all pretty much eight weeks apart from each other. So, yes, that means four out of five kids in my family are pregnant. Wow.

My initial thought was something like Oh, geez. I don't think they're ready for another one.

And then I thought Well, ready or not, here it comes. I guess it will be kind of fun for all of us to be pregnant together and for our kids to be so close in age. Plus, I never complain about another baby to snuggle. Babies are gifts from God - all of them.

And then I found out when she is due.

August.

I can't deny that a little piece of my heart broke. I was due in August of this year. No one else in our families had August babies - August was my month.

I must say that I was surprised to feel this way. This sadness came out of nowhere. I mean, I am weeks away from giving birth to my precious baby boy. My life is all puppies and rainbows right now. What do I care that someone else is having a baby in August? My boy will be here way before that.

I can't explain it. It's just a weird feeling that came over me pretty suddenly. Like my first pregnancy is really over. Yes, it's been over for almost a year now, but I guess part of me hoped that I would still one day have that August baby. And now it won't be "my" month anymore.

Now, do I think that I own the month of August? No. Am I saying that no one else in our families can ever have August babies? No. Am I angry? Heck no.

I guess it's just part of the grieving process, which I'm starting to realize is neverending. I don't think it will ever go away. I still have things that remind me of my first pregnancy - not that I ever want to forget it, but I don't want to feel sad anymore. Especially when I don't see it coming; ambush sadness is a tricky thing.

I am happy to say that I am feeling better. I am not jealous of this person or sad about the due date anymore. It was a few days of brief sadness when I would think about it, but at this point, I am just focused on the excitement ahead. I'm going to have a baby in seven-ish weeks! And that is nothing to be sad about.

Stressed...

Do you ever just want to scream obscentities and punch things (or maybe people) over and over until you feel better?

I'm pretty much there today. I don't get stressed easily. I am a pretty easy-going person usually. But right now, I am just a big ball of crazy stress.

So much to do at school for my own class and also helping another teacher who is going through a bit of a family crisis right now. And my students were off-the-wall crazy today.

So much stuff still needed to do or buy in preparation for Leland's arrival. I keep telling myself that it will all get done, and if it doesn't everything will still be fine. But it's hard not to worry about it.

So much I wish I could do for others who are struggling financially, but just can't afford it.

So many freakin' December birthdays in my family.

Not enough sleep (probably due to all these thoughts running through my head).

My toddler of a husband requiring way more attention than an adult ever should and not understanding my stress in the least.

I have so many things that I have to do or work on tonight, but I just can't even get started because I am so tense. I am just ready for it to be next Friday, so I am done with school for 11 straight days and can just relax.

I can make it. Please, God, let me make it to next Friday without killing someone or having a nervous breakdown.

Pregnancy: 32 weeks...

12.13.11 – 32 weeks

Eight months pregnant! Eight weeks to go! Yeeee Haaaaa!

I am just now getting to the point where I’m starting to feel uncomfortable. Mostly, it’s the excruciating heartburn and acid reflux. I get heartburn from literally everything: peanut butter, banana bread, cereal, and even water a couple of times. It makes me nervous to eat. Last night though, I tried a few things differently {milk with dinner instead of water, no food after dinner, and used a different toothpaste instead of my usual kind with baking soda} and I didn’t have any heartburn. Wahoo!

Besides that, I also find it difficult to get comfortable at night, and I’m exhausted and ready for bed by 6:00pm. I am thankful, though, that up until now, this has been a super easy pregnancy. I’m pretty lucky to have made it this long without any real discomfort.

I am also to the point where my school uniform pants just do not fit. I am carrying so low that even with a bella band, my pants just don’t work. I was able to find some navy blue yoga pants at Walmart and most people didn’t even notice the switch until I said something. I am so much more comfortable now and wondering why I waited so long to make the switch. Also, I must share how classy I look on recess duty these days since I can’t zip my coat.

 I can only button the top buttons {and one of them popped open a couple of times today, so I’m getting even bigger}

In one of my pregnancy e-mail newsletters, I read that I am probably experiencing heartburn and shortness of breath due to my organs being all squished {I’m paraphrasing here}. I have definitely noticed myself getting short of breath, usually on walk into school in the morning. My body isn’t quite used to moving that early in the morning and it’s a long walk from the parking lot to my classroom. But I’m hanging in there, and feel fine most of the day.

I am very much craving sweets these days, but I’m trying to limit myself. I feel like I’m doing pretty well with weight gain and I want to keep it that way. I’m not necessarily worried about my weight gain as much as wanting to keep my baby a normal size. I would really like to have a natural, med-free delivery, so it’s best if baby boy doesn’t get too gigantic. Overall though, I’m staying pretty open-minded. I know that this baby will come out one way or another and if that means meds or a c-section, then I guess I’ll have to go that route. I’m trying to stay positive though, even with everyone telling me my baby will be 12 lbs.

Dave and I went to pick up my rocker tonight! I am so stinkin’ excited! We’re going to clean the carpets tomorrow {his sister has a carpet cleaner that she’s letting us borrow} and then we can put it in the baby’s room. Still haven’t ordered the crib, dresser, and changing table yet; soon though.

Looking forward to the next eight weeks flying by, and the days/weeks/months/years following to go by ever so slowly {I know they won’t, but don’t burst my bubble}.

Doing the Dishes and Getting Credit...

Dishes. Ugh. Another annoying household chore.

Lately, I feel like I all I do is dishes. I get up in the morning and there are dishes in the sink, so I wash them. Then I make both of our lunches and eat breakfast and wash those dishes. I come home from school and there are more dishes in the sink {our lunch containers}. Then I make dinner and have to wash those dishes. Every time I turn around, I feel like there is a sink load of dishes. We do have a dishwasher, but it's usually not worth using, because it's old and doesn't do the greatest job. And also, it seems to take much less time and energy to just wash them myself.

Now, Dave is generally very good about helping out with household chores. He is a complete neat freak, so our house is usually picked up, and he has been known to help sweep and vacuum. Plus, he does all the really annoying tasks like yard work, snow removal, and trash.  He has never quite figured out laundry, but he does a lot of things around the house, and he even helps with dishes sometimes.

However, for the last few months {I'm not exxaggerating here}, he really hasn't touched the dishes. There was one night that he did them, but seriously one night out of two or three months ain't much.

I've been complaining about it a lot recently, because I really feel like all I do is wash the dishes. It's nonstop. I'm not gonna lie, I've been a complete nag, saying things like, "Oh look! A sink full of dishes just for me!" and "I'm so glad I'm the only one that eats around here. Just think of how many dishes we would have if you ate too!" and "Here I go, doing the dishes again. You enjoy your relaxing time on the couch, honey. You've earned it."

So this morning, Dave and I were arguing about some pointless thing, I don't remember what. And he started washing the dishes. When he was done, he said, in all seriousness, "You should write this down so that the next time you complain that I never do dishes, there is proof." I rolled my eyes and muttered something to myself about how maybe he should write down all the things I do so that there's proof, and he could see that my list is a whole lot longer.

You may have noticed that, yes, I have had a few extra helpings of Carnation Instant Bitch lately {I totally stole that from my friend, Cortney. I'm not that clever. But I'm going to use it on a regular basis.}.

Sarcasm aside, I was thankful for him doing the dishes. It was nice to have a break from it.

Well, a few minutes later, I happened to look in the dish strainer, and this is what I see...

• A pizza pan from Dave's pizza last night
• A pizza slicer, also from Dave's pizza last night
• A bowl from Dave's cereal this morning
• A spoon, also from Dave's cereal this morning
• A small plate from my donut this morning {Yes, a donut. I bought two yesterday. Dave ate his last night and I saved mine for today. Don't judge me.}

Five dishes. FIVE dishes! And four of them were his anyway!

Don't worry, Dave. I won't let this monumental task go unnoticed. I shall put it on the internets for all to see that on Sunday, December 11, 2011, at approximately 10:00am, David Michael Nowak did the dishes! All FIVE of them!!!

Sound the trumpets! Bring out the cheerleaders! Give the man credit for all of his hard work! Where's that dish washing medal I was given yesterday? He deserves it!

Now, if you could replace the towel to the towel rack instead of throwing it on the counter, I think I may just have to call the newspapers.

Except that I'll probably be too busy, drinking my Instant Bitch and folding laundry. And doing another sink load of dishes.

Celebrating Grandma Josie...

Last weekend was my grandma's 80th birthday. Grandma Josie is my very favorite person in all the world.

My fondest childhood memories involve spending time with her: playing cards, visiting her house on Douglas Lake, swimming, shopping, watching Mary Poppins {she's the one that got me hooked}, etc.

As an adult, I don't get to spend the time with her that I would like to. Life just gets in the way. But we do make time for lunches and shopping still. And a few years ago, Grandma Josie, my mom, my sister and I went to New York City for a girls' trip. Grandma doesn't get around as well these days, and travelling makes her anxious, so I'm afraid that was our last trip. But, hey, we had a great trip and it's a memory I will always cherish.

Someday, if I ever have a little girl, her middle name will be Josephine, after the most wonderful person I know.

Anyway, back to the celebration. Grandma didn't want a big celebration, so we had a small family gathering at my aunt's house last weekend. There was good food, better desserts, and amazing time spent with family.

Here are some pictures of our celebration...

Chocolate carmel cake...DECLICIOUS!

Food...gosh, I love food!

Grandma Josie with my niece, Natalie

Blowing out her candles

My nephew, Rafe, enjoying his dessert.

My sweet niece, Audrianna.

Beautiful Grandma opening one of her gifts

Uncle Matt, Aunt Patty and cousins Maggie and Hayley

Donnie, Rafe, my sister Colleen (and little baby in her belly)

My parents with their grandkids (the ones that were there)

Me, sister Colleen, and brother John

Grandma with her three kids: my mom, Aunt Patty, and Uncle Kip (Cliff)

Just another wonderful Grandma Josie memory. Looking forward to many more.

Pregnacy: 31 weeks...

12.06.11 – 31 weeks 

Feelin' pretty huge these days, but loving every second of it. 

I cannot believe I only have nine weeks left! I am so excited and just giddy all around. Dave asked me a few days ago when it’s “safe” for a baby to be born. Actually, his exact question was, “How early can a baby be born and still live?” So I explained the whole viability at 24 weeks, and how at 28 weeks they can survive with a short NICU stay, but that at 37 weeks, they are considered full-term. He said, “That’s in six weeks. We could have a baby in SIX WEEKS?!” While I’m eager to meet my sweet one, I would like him to bake longer in there, just to be sure that he’s as healthy as he can be.

I had an appointment yesterday with the midwife at my OB/GYN office. She was really nice. My blood pressure was back up to normal range {110/70}, so I was happy about that. Baby is head down {YES!}, and I am measuring right on track. I asked what my weight gain was from the beginning of my pregnancy. The last time I asked was at least 6 weeks ago {probably more}. At that point I was only up 12 lbs., so I was expecting about 18 lbs. Ha – 23 lbs. It was surprising to hear it, but I guess it sounds about right. My next appointment is in two weeks with my regular doctor, because the other doctor I’m supposed to meet will be on vacation then.

This week, I’ve really been craving sugar. I really am trying to be good, because I know it’s not good for me or the baby, and I would really like to keep my weight gain normal, but chocolate is my big weakness. It’s so hard to say no.

Since switching from cereal in the morning to yogurt with fruit and granola, I have had much more energy throughout the day. I don’t get the weird dizzy/low blood sugar feeling in the morning anymore. Plain yogurt is not as tasty as apple cinnamon cheerios, but if it makes me feel good, then I guess I’ll stick with it. I also have some peanut butter toast with it.

I’ve been having CRAZY round-ligament pains lately. Mostly just at night, when I roll from side to side. The midwife said that’s totally normal, especially since the baby is head-down, because that will cause pressure down there.

Now that my showers are done {except for my school one in January}, Dave and I are starting to figure out what stuff we still need. We still need a lot of the big stuff, like the furniture, stroller, car seat, and breast pump, but I think some of that we might get from my school shower, so I’m not rushing out and buying it yet. We do have some gift cards too, so that will help. So excited to start filling up Leland’s room with all of his cutesy things!

Room Readying...

Dave has been working in Leland's room quite a bit the last few weekends, but this weekend, he really spent some quality time in there.

Yesterday, he painted. This is what the room looked like before...

It was sort of an off-white/yellowish color. Not terrible, but I prefer a little more color.

I think these pictures were taken after Dave had patched and primed the walls.



And this is the room after...

I love this color! Someone told me today it's not what they would have chosen, but I have to say it's exactly what I was picturing. I love darker, more dramatic colors, but still natural, earthtones. Also, notice that Dave replaced the wire shelves with solid wood shelves...perfect for Leland's book library.

I tried to talk Dave into painting the window trim white, but I think he's done painting for a very long time. Plus, this would involved also painting the window casing, which would be a pain in the butt. And white wouldn't cover the trim very well anyway. Honestly, it's not a big deal to me, and the curtains will cover most of the trim anyway.

Also, this weekend, Dave used his new knee-kicker {a tool used to stretch carpet} to get rid of a few ripples in the carpet, and now it looks perfect.

Next weekend, we plan to borrow Dave's sister's carpet cleaner to really clean it and then we are ready to start filling it up with stuff. We still need to order the furniture, but I am so relieved and excited that the room is READY for us to put everything in it! 



Baby Shower #2...

Today was Baby Shower #2 with Dave's side of the family and friends. Unfortunately, none of Dave'sextended family were able to come; they all live more than two hours away and couldn't make it up to Traverse City. I was bummed they couldn't make it, but it was still a fun day with friends and Dave's immediate family.

Dave's mom and sister planned the shower. They did a tool theme, and it was seriously the cutest thing ever. Everything was wonderful and adorable and perfect.

The food was great, but I forgot to take a picture. Laura's husband, Jabin, made stromboli sandwiches and two kinds of soup, and we had a veggie tray and pita chips with hummus. It super yummy, and perfect for a cold day.

The cake...OH, THE CAKE!

Not only was it the coolest looking cake ever, it tasted delicious. Laura had it made by Potter's, a local bakery, and asked for chocolate ganache filling {because she knows my love for chocolate and knows how to spoil me}. Oh, and the tools on top were molded chocolate...awesome!

I didn't get a great picture, but it's a Bob the Builder balloon to go with the tool theme.

For one of the games, they filled this bottle with screws and people had to guess how many there were. There were 117, in case you're wondering.

Kennedi...such a doll

Had to get a picture of the tool tablecloth.

The gifts

These are two of my students. Their nanny lives in our neighborhood and has known Dave for years, so she brought them along. Such cuties.

Laura with Caleb, enjoying the cake.

Me with Kennedy and Kim. I met them when I worked at a daycare in town. Kennedy went to that daycare. She was 13 months old and Kim was pregnant with twin boys. I have been watching Kennedy and the boys ever since. They are like a second family to me.

The Nowak girls: Laura (Dave's older sister), me, April (Dave's younger sister), Patti (Dave's mom), and Danielle (Dave's brother's fiance)

Some gifts: bumbo seat and play tray, bottle drying rack, lots of baby food stuff, diaper bag, diaper wipes and travel changing pads, and two books.

Sleepers, receiving blankets, burp cloths, and a big washcloth (used to keep the baby warm during bath time)

Hooded towel made by April's mother-in-law, Darlene. Love it!

Toys! Lots of tools/building things. Perfect

I forgot to take a picture of the invitations, but these are the thank you cards that match. Oh, the cuteness is just too much. :)

Keepin' Warm...

A couple weeks ago, a friend of mine was given this adorable hat from a parent at school. The mom that made it makes lots of different hats and sells them, so I contacted her and ordered one. A few days later, her son came to me with this...

These pictures aren't quite getting the color right. The hat is white with dark purple, but for some reason, the purple part looks blue in these pictures.

I think it is so cute, and it is really warm. So many hats don't keep my ears warm, but this does! And it was only $10. I am loving it.

And one day around the same time, one of my students gave me this hat that her mom made for me...

It was hard to get a picture of it, but there is a cute little flower on this hat too.

Both hats are pretty adorable in person. I'm not really a hat person, because my hair doesn't work with hats well, but I need something for recess duty in our cold, Northern Michigan winters. These definitely do the trick.